


The Way It Should Have Been

by stopthedimples



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2013-02-10
Packaged: 2017-11-28 19:49:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 36,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/678244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stopthedimples/pseuds/stopthedimples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is about to become a real business woman.<br/>Harry joined the biggest boy-band in the world.<br/>Sam has a baby<br/>And maybe, well maybe it's Harry's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first fic I ever wrote, bare with me x  
> Also, when it says chapter .5 this is Mary talking about 13-14 years later x

We have been best friends since the summer between 8th grade and the begining of freshman year. His dad had come to the states for work and he lived next door to my dad. Harry spent the summers with his dad while i spent whenever i felt like being at my dads with him. Harry didn’t have much of a choice, his dad wasn’t in the same town let alone the same country for him to go see him all the time. My parents lived less than a mile from each other and although they were divorced they didn’t write me into a parental agreemen, my mom simply wrote “She’s old enough to make her own descisions. If she wants to stay at her dads she can, if she wants to stay home she can.”

In the begining we bonded over our divorced parents, school, and our seperate groups of friends. Harry was a people pleaser, he had a LOT of friends everybody like him. Not that i blame any of them, he’s hard to not like. I had a select group of friends. Four or five, and I never really felt the need to look for anymore. We had of course met before Harry had entered the X-Factor. Back when he was just a normal teenager. We had become best friends fast, even when he was back in England we still talked and skyped everyday, despite the time differences. There were things I could tell him that I couldn’t tell my friends here, not that they wouldn’t support me it just felt easier with Harry. We were those best friends who did everything together in turn it got us in some trouble.

2 years earlier:

“Are you sure about this?” Harry was wide eyed and frankly a little shocked at what I had just said.

“If you don’t want to then i’ll find some other scrauny high schooler to do it.” I smiled but I knew he could tell how nervous I was.

“No, don’t do that. I-I just- isn’t this suppose to be like the biggest moment of your life?”

“Harry, that’s your wedding. This is just sex.” I was still a virgin, and although I had had quite a few relationships either all the guys had bailed before we did the deed, or I was too replusived to have them put anything of theirs near anything of mine. So I had asked Harry. He was my best friend. And to be honest I just wanted it to be over with.

“Ok, but not today, if you want to do this we should do this at least somewhat right. Give me time to get all my expertise in a basket.” There it was, his smile, right alone side his joke.

That next night, Harry called me a little after midnight. H- You think you can meet me at my dads in ten?

Me- I’ll be there.

Harrys room was on the first floor so i knocked the the window and climbed in like i had a 100 times before. But his room was different, it was overly clean, he was always really clean but tonight it was extra clean. There were candles surrounding the outline of the room. Guess he wasn’t kidding about about getting all of his expertise into a basket. He actually took time to plan this all out.

“Your dad out tonight?”

“Yeah, he had a date.” No suprise there, his dad was always out on dates, a differnt woman every week. “Last time, Sam are you sure?”

I didn’t bother to answer though, I just leaned in and let our lips meet. He was taking his time and moving slowly, soon he was to my neck. His hands roamed my body, relentless in their pursuit of flesh. His panting breaths were hot against the already damn skin of my neck. My skin buzzed with anticipation. He cautiously reached his hand out connecting the bare skin of my back with his palm, pulling my chest directily against his. He layed me down onto the bed and began to strip me of my clothes, while removing some of his in the process.

I wasn’t sure if it was me or the moment but my entire body was shaking with the promise of his touch. I looked in between us and smiled, seeing a very big bulge looking uncomfortably restrained inside of his underwear. “You’re so perfect.” Harry whispered.

“First drawer.” he said, glancing at it. I understood quickly, leaning over and opening the drawer, reaching in blindly and pulling out a box of condoms.

“If it hurts, just tell me and I’ll stop.” Harry said eyes full of concern and worry. I nodded, reading myself. This was it. He slowly pushed his tip inside of me. I gasped, already feeling pain. “I love you.”

After that night mine and Harrys relationship had changed. It wasn’t about the sex to me but what he had said during it, which I had constantly reminded myself was a heat of the moment thing. It wasn’t a mistake and even to this day I don’t regret it. But the problem was we didn’t stop. If things got tough or things got lonely between one of us we would go to each other. We were never in a committed relationship though. Even once I had tried to move the relationship so we weren’t just “having sex” but the conversation quickly changed.

That was the day he told me when he got home he was going to audition for the x factor. It seemed like nothing at the time, and I was a year older than him so I was going to go to college anyways, it was both of our big breaks. The only problem was he got his but I didn’t get mine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is about to become a real business woman.   
> Harry joined the biggest boy-band in the world.   
> Sam has a baby  
> And maybe, well maybe it's Harry's.

Present day.

“Mom thank you for coming down for the week, I’m dying at work. I’m overloaded. And overly stressed.”

“Of course, you’re my favorite child.” She chuckled, I was her only child. “I’ll go grab Mary and her bag and then I’ll be out of here. Now, Sam, you’ve got to get going before you’re late to work again.”

It was true, I had already been late twice this week. I worked below a woman names Jennifer who dressed celebrities for a living. Everyday I would go into work and sit in a room full of fabric and pins and needles. When I got into work today everyone was running around like small children.

“What the hell is going on here?” I asked Brian. He was the front desk receptionist and he always knew the dirt before anyone else.

“Jennifer is choosing someone for a big project, but she’s not mentioning who is going and what the project is.”

“All employees in division six please report to the conference room in building C.” Crap I was in division six. I was one of the first to arrive right behind, Josie who had the desk next to mine and Jennifer who had called us all here. After about three minutes the room was filled and Jennifer began to talk.

“I have brought you all here today because the company has received a huge deal with a very large performing act. Now I want nothing but the best of the best for this act and I have made a decision on who I would like to go. Before I name the lucky employee I want you all to know that it is a big step. You will have to go on tour with the act, to be able to dress them during performances, interviews, and big night outs. So… Without further ado, Sam Dawson. Congratulations.”

Wait she picked me? I was getting this promotion? “Meet here tomorrow during lunch so you can meet the act and get everything you need ready for the upcoming weeks.”

The next day I sat at my desk without doing any work at all up until 12:00 sharp. I walked passed Brian who wished me luck and then walked to Jennifer’s receptionist.

Before I could even introduce myself, “Jennifer will see you now.”

When I walked into the room I seen Jennifer sitting at her perfectly posh desk with five mens heads in front of her. “Right on time Sam, These boys are your act. Sam, One Direction, Sam.”

Was she playing a sick joke on me? All five boys stood and faced me, I did everything in my power to not look in Harry’s direction. I shook each of the boys hands before getting to Harry.

“Long time, no talk, text or Skype Sam.” I should of dyed my hair when I had the chance, then maybe he wouldn’t of recognized me and then maybe everyone wouldn’t be staring at me right now.

“You guys know each other?” Jennifer spoke, surprised.

“Yeah, we used to be friends, we lived next to each other.” I spoke straight out of an old memory.

“SOS!” Louis screamed before Harry gave him a disapproving look. The hell was sos?

“Anyways lets get on with the basics.”

I was to go on tour with the boys for three months, living in hotels around the country and dress them accordingly. To my accommodation I was given the exception to bring another person with me. The boys were probably waiting for me to mention my best friend who would be more than thrilled to come with. And before I could even say my answer Jennifer assistant opened the door.

“Uh, there is someone here for Sam, and she’s pretty persistent.” Jennifer knew, and although the boys were confused and we were in the middle of an interview she spoke “Bring her in.”

In walked a two foot tall, adorable brown haired green eyed toddler. She waltzed in like it was her own office and ran straight up to me. “Mommy! Mommy! Grandma says it’s time for lunch!”


	3. Chapter 3

Uncomfortable couldn’t describe the situation I was in. My mom walked in a little too late for my liking, “Mary, get back here. I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were in a meeting. Sam we’ll wait at your desk.”

She glanced down at me and then around the room at the ajoining boys. She gave me a serious throughout look before scooping up Mary and walking out.

“Okay, is there anything else?”

“You flight leaves in two days. Get everything ready. I presume that your extra pass will be for Mary?”

“Um, yes, I mean if I can do that? I don’t know how it would sit with you guys having a toddler with you on tour?”

“I think it would be great, it would be nice to have someone else besides all of us guys. Plus we all love babies on the inside. And Lux will finally have a friend.” Liam was so reassuring.

“Alright, well I’ll see you in two days then.”

I got up and left before I could be sucked into another situation I didn’t want to be in. I heard one of the guys say my name as I walked out but I couldn’t bring myself to go back or even try and decipher which one of them had actually spoken.

After a long lunch with my disapproving mother I took Mary home and laid her down for her afternoon nap. Normally I would still be at work but my boss was letting me have the next two days off to get prepared for the trip. I had started to pack right as Mary was asleep. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to pack for a toddler but it is one of the most stressful things ever.

Upon my beside table I had three picture frames, the first of me and my parents from my 15th birthday, although they were divorced I had convinced them to stand on either side of me so that I could feel like I had a family. The second was Me, Harry, His Dad, and My Dad, it was taken on a summer afternoon when I was dragged to the lake to go fishing. I hated going fishing with the boys, I got restless too easy and I couldn’t be quiet enough ever. Whenever they would leave the lake empty handed they would continue on about how I had been too loud that day and scared all of the fish away. The third of me in my cap in gown with Mary cradled in my arms. On the back of the frame I had written “They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I’m setting out to proud this is true.” I had wrote it in a fit of tears the day after my boyfriend broke up with me. He had known about her, but the commitment was too much for him, understandable who wants to be a teenage parent?

**

Now, i’m not going to blame it on my 18 month old but I was late to the airport. The flight didn’t leave for almost four hours but we were all suppose to meet early. Which I was late for. I hadn’t seen any of the boys when I finally made it to the private waiting room that management had booked. Besides a few members of security the only other people in the room were Eleanor and Lou along with Lux. All three of us sat talking while Mary and Lux played together in a pile of toys on the floor. I had a feeling me and Lou were going to become rather close during this tour, she would do the boys make-up while I got them all into their respective clothes, and we were the only two people on tour with children.

“AWW LOOK HOW ADORABLE THEY ARE!” Louis screamed running into the room and diving of the floor with the babies. “Sam she’s adorable she has his eyes.”

“W-What?” Did he just say she had his eyes.

“I said she has your eyes, their absolutely adorable.” Right my eyes, of course she had my eyes. She was a spitting image of me.

“He’s right, she had your eyes.” It was Harry I hadn’t even felt him walk up. “So what are the odds, after all of this time we end up in the same place again?”

“Luck of the draw I guess.”

“You know we talked for a little bit after I left for the X factor and you never mentioned the whole having a baby thing.”

“Was I suppose to call up my best friend during the best part of his life and be like ‘by the way I got knocked up, hows the tour?’ it’s not exactly a conversation started.” I chuckled looking back to the many times I had to tell numerous people that I was “with child” or “I’m not getting fat, I’m pregnant”

“Her dad, Mary’s why isn’t her watching her while you come to work with us?”

I could feel Lou, El, and Louis all listening in. “He left, I haven’t seen him in a really long time.” Not a lie, but not exactly the truth either.


	4. Chapter 4

The flight was absolutely miserable. Mary was not having the whole “stay in your seat thing” and even though she was next to Lux she just wanted to get up and run around. Not only was Mary crabby but I could feel the looks from Harry and Niall, they were seated next to each other across the aisle from me and Lou.

If everyday was going to be like this I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to be able to last. By the time we made it to the hotel me and Mary were ushered in with Lou and Lux our rooms would be on the same floor as the boys but we weren’t allowed to enter in with them. Of course the room was extravigant, enough of these and I would feel like I actually had money. Sure I made decent money but being a single mom of a toddler you can never have enough money.

I had laid Mary down for a nap and had just finished getting all of her clothes, and toys settled in her room. I quickly jumped in the shower to clean myself of the airplane smug. I got out wrapped a towel around me and checked on Mary, she was still fast asleep. Thank god, after that flight I was completely exhausted and was thankful she was asleep still.

I put on a pair of mint green short-shorts paired with a white button down shirt. I decided to fishtail braid my hair down my back. I put on a little bit of mascara and eyeliner and called it good. I slipped on my gladiator sandals and stunned looked over at Niall. He was sitting on the couch in my room. I gave him a questioning look. “How did you get in here?”

“Your door was open. So I let myself in, heard the shower so figured I would wait.”

“Oh, okay.. Do you need something or am I suppose to be somewhere?”

“I wanted to ask you about Harry.”

Oh god. “What about him?”

“Just you know, you guys were best friends for a long time. Does he seem the same as when you guys were teenagers, you were good friends right?”

I’d never really thought about this. Physically he wasn’t the same kid that he was when we first met. We’d talked a few times where he had mentioned going to the gym cause he had heard from quite a few people on the internet that he was “too scrawny.” Although he seemed like the same cheeky Harry that I had known there was something about him that was different. Something soft about him.

“You know he seems just like himself.”

He kinda of chuckled before going on “Okay, well lets go out to lunch.”

“I would love to, but Mary is asleep and I don’t want to wake her the flight really messed up her sleeping schedule.”

“Oh, I already asked Lou if she would like to watch her for you. She says Lux is going down for a nap too so she was just going to bring her over here.”

Why would he be wanting me to go to lunch SO bad, it was just lunch right?

“Okay, i’ll meet you guys in ten?” Niall nodded before letting me know which room to meet them in and then left, right after the closed to Nialls departure, it reopened for Lou’s arrival. She walked in carrying a cooing Lux who looked just as exhausted as Mary had.

“What are you still doing here? Aren’t you suppose to be meeting with the boys?”

“I am, but why am I?”

“I didn’t say anything but I think Niall fancies you.”

I think my jaw literally dropped. “What?”

“Just a guess.” She said with a wink. That is not a guess, she winked and here winking is not when you just have a guess.

I grabbed my bag and made my way down to what I was told was Louis and Harrys room. I knocked, waited and then knocked again. No answer. Alright.

“Hey babe.”

“Oh my god Harry! You scared the shit out of me! Where did you even come from!?” I yelled slapping his chest. God his chest. Nope Sam back to reality.

“You’re knocking on the wrong door love.”

“I seem to remember asking you not to call me love, say about two years ago?”

“Yeah well it makes you squirm, and I like you to feel uncomfortable. It’s what I do.”

“Gosh you really haven’t changed.” I laughed, but it was true.

Before I knew it I was on the floor. Literally had been knocked onto the floor. And smothered by all four boys. “Yes Sam dog pile!” Harry screamed before jumping on the top of the pile.

“SAMMY! IM GLAD YOU DECIDED TO COME TO LUNCH WITH US!”

“Can’t breath. Get off."

One by one they all slowly got up. Last was Niall he smiled looked me straight in the eyes before saying “You okay love?”


	5. Chapter 5

“Alright True or Dare it is.”

“Wait what? I thought this was a simple lunch?”

“For us love this is simple.” I could see the excitment in Louis’s face while he spoke.

“She hates being called love.” He stated. Looking at Louis and then looking back at me.

“Alright well because you hate me, your first, truth or dare?”

Why me. “Truth.”

“If you could go on a date with anyone in this room who would it be?”

“Uh, Niall.”

“Why Niall!” 

“Hey it’s my turn now!”

“Zayn, Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“When was your last walk of shame?” I was actually quite proud of myself with that one.

“Oh god, well I’ve been with my girlfriend for about five months. So five and a half months ago?”

After a round of hoots and high fives. The game continued only getting more heated up.

“Alright back to you Sam, truth or dare?” Louis stared right at me, quite cheekly.

“Truth.” This was easier, I didn’t have to do anything to embarress myself and i didn’t have to stand up.

“Who gave you your first orgasm.” 

What?! “Dare.”

“Now love you can’t change your choice now. Who was it. Lets hear it.”

“Ha-Harry.” I whispered.

“DID YOU JUST SAY HARRY! LIKE OUR BABY HARRY! HARRY EDWARD STYLES!” I knew Louis was bound to make this awkward.

“Alright well i’m going to get back to the hotel. Mary is probably up by now.

“Niall she wants to go on a date with you, why don’t you walk her back to the hotel.” I heard Liam exclaim, before Harry butted in saying he would walk me. I was too far away to hear anything else that was said between them. Before I knew it I felt a hand grab my wrist to turn me around.

“Harry it’s fine, go back to lunch.” But it wasn’t Harry it was in fact Niall. 

“I’m sorry love, they’re really immature sometimes. It’s just the way they are.”

I didn’t have anything to say I just stared at him. Those crystal blue eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, you don’t like being called love right?”

I was snapped back to reality. “Oh, it’s fine. It’s just for Harry really.”

“Oh yeah? Why?”

“When we were in high school he would put emphasis on it all the time. Especially when I was with my boyfriend. Or any of my best friends. It was never actally needed. But that’s Harry.”

“So you didn’t date Harry in high school.”

Tecnically no. “No, we were just friends. We both had boyfriends or girlfriends at different times.”

“So did Harry always date bitches?”

“Ha, bitches are an understatement.”

I was taken back into a memory. It was the end of June and Harry had been in the states for about a month. His school ended before mine did so he would have to wait around all day for me to get out of school. While I was in school one day Harry had come to see me at lunch but I was still in a final and hadn’t made it out before lunch ended. More than that I hadn’t made it out before Harry had time to chat up another girl. Of all girls, Gabby. 

I hated Gabby, we had been enemies since grade school and she could always find a way to make my life living hell. In turn of that conversation Harry and Gabby had started seeing each other regularly. I hated her. And I wasn’t one to keep it to myself. Everytime Harry would bring her up I would bring up the torment she had put me through. And everytime he had brought her along for a dinner or movie date we had I would tell him I wasn’t feeling well or that I had to get some homework finished. 

One time in paricular me and Harry were set for a movie night, four horror films followed by ‘Love Actually’, that’s how we did every movie night. But when I opened the door to my curly-haired best friend he had his arm locked around Gabby’s. I hadn’t even made it through one movie before telling them they could finish what they wanted to watch that I wasn’t feeling good and I would see them tomorrow. I remember curling up into bed and crying myself to sleep. Was I losing my best friend? What was happening?

When I woke up Harry was lying behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist. He told me that he knew I was upset and assured me that he had asked Gabby to leave. That it was his duty to see if his best friend was okay. Within a week they were broken up. 

I left out this last part to Niall who really didn’t need to know everything, I mean I had known Harry for years but was just now meeting the rest of the boys. Although it was just an old memory I felt a tear escape my eye and slide down my cheek.

Niall grabbed my cheeks and wiped off my tear. “Niall I…”

“I think I like you Sam.” That was all he said before kissing me.


	6. Chapter 6

What was happening? I could feel my face flush to Nialls touch. Had this really just happened to me? Yes he was gorgeous and he seemed like a really nice guy, but he was my best friends best friend, and technically he was my employer. 

“Sam?” I pushed back off of Niall to see Harry and Zayn turn the corner in the hallway. “Glad I caught you guys, you left your jacket at lunch.”

“T-Thanks.” I stammered. Before turning and heading for my room. 

Mary was awake and so was Lux they were sitting on the floor in a pile of multicolored blocks. 

“Hey Lou.”

“Hey babe how was lunch?”

“It was… ok.” 

“Well why was it just okay? I’ve never gone out with the boys and it been just okay? Did something happen?”

“Niall kissed me.” 

“Really?! I told you that he fancies you!”

“Right, but I don’t know if this is okay. If this can happen? I mean i’m their stylist now, and I have a baby and.. and..”

“And you’re in love with someone else.” 

“Yes.”

“Well tell me about him, whats his name? Where does he live? Come on i’m the closest you’re going to get to having an actual conversation with someone here.”

I let everything out, from the day I had my first date to todays events. How was I suppose to cope with this in any way. Lou was nothing less than accepting of my story.We had little time to get over to Pauls sweet where the boys would be waiting to get their hair done and their clothes picked out and fitted. 

“Well we’ll figure this out. But we have to pack up our girls and get going. The boys are waiting.”

After packing up both Mary and Lux and all of their glory we walked down the hall to Pauls room. Each boy was doing their own thing. Louis was laying on the floor singing, practicing I guess. Zayn was already in Lou’s chair, Liam was at the kitchen table skyping Danielle and then there was Harry and Niall deep into conversation. A conversation I didn’t want to be any part of but of course I heard the one thing I didn’t want to hear. 

“I don’t know mate, that was a long time ago, she’s probably a lot different than she was before.”

“Trust me, it’s Sam she doesn’t change. I know everything about her. She’s exactly the girl I remember just with a little bit of a fan group these days.” Harry was talking about Mary. It was true though I had to take her with me everywhere.

“Mama? Juice?” 

“Yes baby your juice is right here.” I handed her her cp and a few crackers and set in a the playpin along with Lux.

“Alright i’m up, what am I wearing.” Harrys breath was hot on my neck. 

“Um, your, uh…”

“Cat got your tongue?”

“No, your stuff is this way.”

I led him into the conjoining room to get his outfit out of it’s plastic wrap. In walked Niall who was also ready for his outfit. His was right behind Zayns, so I pushed his aside and then handed them both of their outfits. Harry started to take his pants off right in the middle of the room.

“Harry don’t you think you should be more gentlemenly and stand behind the changing wall.”

“It’s not like she hasn’t seen me naked before.” I could feel my face turn a deep shade of red, and I could feel Nialls gaze go straight to me.

“Right, i’m going to go get the rest of the boys. You only have about 20 minutes til you have to be downstairs and ready to go.”

The second I left the room I could hear their conversations starting again. Once I had ushered each of the boys into the ajoining room Niall came back out. 

“Would you like to go out tonight, after the signing. Just a get to know you dinner?”

As if lunch with the boys wasn’t enough. “I’d love to.”

“Alright i’ll pick you up from your room at 7:30.”

***

I sat on my bed staring down at my almost two year old child, enjoying Lux’s company. Not going to lie though I was really enjoying Lou’s company. I had been trying to sew on the same button to Louis shirt for almost an hour. If he would stop thrusting my job would be much easier. 

“What about this top? With say this skirt?” She didn’t wait for me to decide if I wanted it or not.

“Alright so I’ll leave it out for you, and remember this is just dinner with the boys.”

At 7:30 on the dot Niall knocked on the door. 

“Sam you look beautiful.” 

“Thank you, where is everyone else?”

“Uh, their rooms. Or maybe they went out to eat, i’m not really sure.”

Unlike what Lou had said this wasn’t “just dinner with the boys” this was dinner with JUST Niall.

Chapter 6.5

“It’s 1:15 in the afternoon and me and my Best friend Lux have been laying on my bed reading every detail of an old ratted down book. It was white with brown leather edges. It was in fact a diary. My mothers diary. Me and Lux had found it this morning after my mother had finally got sick of me not cleaning out the attic like she had asked ten times before. We were moving, you’d think she would see the disappointment that I had seen in her and would change her mind for the better. But instead she kept pushing me making me pack my room and help her with everything else. I had done a little bit of packing in every room of the house, except the one at the end of the hall. I couldn’t bare to see what was still inside.

‘Mary come on down your dad is here to get you!’ Time after time I had heard that this week. I always wondered how many times you can get your heart broke before you fall apart?”


	7. Chapter 7

I won’t lie and say that I didn’t enjoy dinner. Niall was the sweetest of most of the men I had ever even held a conversation with. He lead the conversation between topics like places i’ve traveled, which wasn’t many, what I was planning on studying if I had attended college like I had planned, how I had got into the styling business.

“But don’t you have to go to school for things like this?”

“Yes, but it only goes as far as a high school degree. THen it’s just basic training and how well you do that job. Which apparently I have both of. It’s really a great job.”

“Right under being a mom?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t want to intrude but you don’t seem like most teenage mothers. You just focus on your job and your child.”

“Well those are the things I have to pay attention to in order to make sure we have food on the table and a roof over our heads. If her fath- Nevermind.”

“If her father had stuck around?”

“I wish I could say it was that simple. But I never even told her Father. He was going to follow his dream and I was too scared to tell him. I mean I loved him to death but we weren’t even together.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

In honesty I did, but how was I suppose to say it. I felt comfortable with Niall just as I was with Lou but was I being too trustworthy of them? 

“I don’t know where to start?”

“Start wherever you feel comfortable.”

“I was just a kid.” I mumbled staring down at my half eatin salad. 

I had done it again, told my whole story. I hadn’t told anybody except for my parents, my best friend and now Lou and Niall. I think what would help me most in this situation would be if everytime I told somebody the truth about my past I would be able to face it myself. 

By the time I had finished I had tears streaming down my face. Niall had moved to my end of the table to hold my hand, even though if I was in the position he was in I would of been rather embarrassed to be seated next to me. We walked back to the hotel in silence. I was completely out of things to say. 

Niall left me at the door to my hotel room where he kissed my cheek and went to go take a nap before the show tonight. After unlocking the door and stepping in quietly. All of the lights were off so I figured Lou had laid the girls down for a nap. But when I flipped on the lap in the sitting room it wasn’t Lou that I seen lying down with Mary, it was Harry. He was laying on the couch on his back with Mary cuddled into his side. Both of them fast asleep.

I very lightly lifted Mary from the couch and walked her into my bedroom,without waking her which I was now pro at and retucked her into her sleeping position before heading back to the sitting room. Right as I entered the room I seen Harry standing up with his hands in his curls pacing back and forth.

“I- I she was right here.. We just fell asleep for like two minutes- shit what have I done.”

I admit I was a little amused with his sudden rush of panic. He had actually thought that he had dosed off and lost my child. 

“Calm down curly, I took her away from you and put her in a real bed.” 

“Jesus Christ, you took her away and you let me freak out like that?!”

“Yes, it was quite entertaining.” I laughed while walking to the bathroom to pull my curled hair up.

“So where have you been all day?”

“I went to dinner with Niall.”

“I thought that was a love bite. Niall turns it on huh?”

“What?” Love bite? I didn’t have a… Oh it was a curler burn and apparently Harry thought me and Niall had got freaky. “It’s a curler burn, Haz. Why are you here anyways?”

“I stopped by to see if you could sew a button back on a pair of my jeans, and then Lux spilt a whole bowl of food on herself, so I said I would watch her so Lou could go give Lux a bath.”

“Oh, well let me see these pants then.” 

it had been a good five minutes while Harry just sat and watched me measure and sew. He was always one for conversation so I was suprised that we had sat so long without him saying anything at all to me.

“Is there something you want to talk about, you’re awfully quiet?”

“I’m just having a hard time. You being here with us. Not in a bad way, I just never thought I would see you again, I called you dad a few times, my dad, to check up on you while we were on the show and while we were on tour but you never wanted to talk to me.”

“I was really busy, with Mary and all. I had never expected to be in that prediciment. I was just really embarrassed about it. At first I mean, i’m not now. I’m just, god i’m overwhelmed.”

I could feel my face flush that deep red that I always tried to hide. My eyes were full of tears. But I couldn’t cry again today. I was never a emotional person hadn’t cried for so long, it was very rare. Until the day I had Mary, although I didn’t cry through labor I yelled a lot and cursed and screamed but I didn’t actually cry, until they placed her in my arms and ever since then I have been very emotional. 

“Love are you okay? Did I upset you?”

“Harry..”

“Sorry, Sam are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Your pants are done, try not to do anything that will dislodge the button again.”


	8. Chapter 8

Me and Lou sat in about the third row off to the right of the stage, earplugged babies in arms. The show was incrediable, and although it was an arena and as loud as all get out Mary managed to fall asleep in my arms. After the boys has finished their main set and were getting ready to play “I Want” Harry began to speak out to the crowd.

“Tonight a friend of mine is here with us, she was a very dear friend of mine for a very long time. And tonight we want to play a song for her. It’s been a while so forgive us if it’s rusty.”

Harry locked eyes with me and I met his gaze. How he found me in the crowd was astonishing, it was near impossible to see anybody more than twenty feet from where you were standing. The second the song started to play I knew exactly what it was, and he knew exactly what he was doing to me. It was the boy’s version of “Something About The Way You Look Tonight”. It was my favorite song, the song I woke up to in the morning, my ringtone for all calls, the only performance of the boy’s that I have watched more than once, and it was the song that played the night me and Harry first had sex.

I was instantly uneasy. What was he doing? And why would they just decide to play this song? It didn’t matter what it meant to me, right at this moment I didn’t want to hear it at all. I felt a tear slip down my cheek while breaking eye contact with Harry and turning to Lou.

“Do you think that you could possibly watch after Mary tonight, she’s already asleep, I just need time to..”

“Give her here. I completely understand. Go.”

I didn’t hesitate at all before running out of the arena in the humid nights air.

Harrys POV

There were so many things that I wanted to tell Sam. So many things that had gone through my mind since seeing her again at her office. My mind had become a rough tornado since we talked earlier today. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was feeling but I needed it to become clear to me. I had played her favorite song, only for her to walk out of the arena on me. It’s like being a child and being the first one to a classmates party when you don’t want to be there at all.

After almost an hour of getting everything back to the way it was suppose to be we grabbed our bags from the dressing room we all crowded into the van and made our way back to the hotel.

“Any of you boys seen Sam since earlier?” Paul asked.

A bunch of “no’s” came from each boy. Paul probably had to talk about some sort of business thing with her. At least that’s what I had thought before we had made it back to the hotel. I knew I had to talk to her. I could use Paul as an excuse. So I went and knocked on her door. No answer. So I continued to knock until Lou came out of the room next door.

“Stop knocking Harry, she’s not in there and you’re going to wake up the babies.”

“You have both girls?”

“Yeah Sam said she needed some time to herself so I took Mary.”

“Well nobody has seen her, like at all.”

“Thats what happens when someone doesn’t want to be found Harry. Unless you know exactly where she is, I wouldn’t bother looking for her.”

But I did know exactly where she was. At least I had a pretty good hunch. When we were 15 we had a conversation about where we would go so that nobody would bother us. Mine was the treehouse in the woods behind my house. I could always be safe there because both my Mom and Gemma were too scared to go that far into the woods. Sam’s was a pick between two different places. The local Catholic church. Because she had fought with her very Catholic mom many of times and she knew her mom would never look for her in a place she resented. Her second choice was the closest roof to her. She said she liked being close to the stars.

Shaking off his thoughts he made his way to the end of the hall and up the rest of the stairs. The door to the roof was open. I could see her laying on her back, her hair fanned above her. The night sky was cloud free, filled with nothing but an almost full moon and an abundance of stars.

“Remember that time you locked me out of my own house and I was stuck on the roof until my dad got home the next day?”

She didn’t even jump when I spoke she must have known that I had been standing there.

“You deserved it.”

“What did I do exactly?” I said while laying down next to her.

“You let the air out of my boyfriends tires.”

“Right, Ethan. Asshole.”

She didn’t say anything she just smiled at my response. We had spent so much of our teenage years together i’m suprised I was so choked up now. I couldn’t help but stare at her. I knew she hadn’t done her hair that day, it was still curly from her shower earlier. She didn’t have her contacts in but a pair of burgandy framed glasses. She looked stunning. All those summer memories came flooding back to me. The nights we snuck out to go swimming, even though she didn’t properly know how to. The time we got caught by the cops carving our names into the tunnel in the neighborhood park. The day that I left for the X factor.

“Do you remember what we talked about the day I left?”

“Of course.” She was motionless. But although she didn’t appear to be doing anything I watched a tear escape her eye. “I said ‘You know that I’ll always love you. You’re just… you’re going to do great things. You just need to do them without me.’ I wanted you to have your dream.”

And with that everything came back. I was going to tell her that day how I felt about her until she had said those words. It made me feel that she didn’t feel the way that I did. It shouldn’t of mattered anyways.

The way she looked tonight and with the stars above us. I leaned over and kissed her.


	9. Chapter 9

Sams POV

“I’m sorry.” We both spoke at the same time. I don’t think I was sorry the same way Harry was.

“I just- I need you Sam.” Definatly not the same way. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you got here.”

“I’m not going to lie, i’m really confused on whats going on right now. I mean.. I-I’m a mother, and we haven’t seen each other in years.”

“The day we last seen each other, I was going to tell you how I really felt. But I couldn’t do it, what if you didn’t feel the same way? What was I going to do then, it would ruin our entire friendship.”

“Instead, I got pregnant and cut off all contact with you. Was that any better?”

“If you would of told me what was going on with you it wouldn’t of changed any of my feelings for you. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to think differently of me.”

“Sam, I know you, remember that time you ate your weight in cotton candy and threw up on me. I didn’t think differently of you them, whats the real reason you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t want to tell you about how I got pregnant.” I was mortified with just the thought.

“Tell me know. You know I won’t judge you at all. I promise.” This is what I had intentionally kept to myself all of these years.

“It was like a month after you left. I was really drunk. God I was really stupid.”

“You weren’t stupid.”

“No, I was. It was Ethan. We were already broken up. You were gone, and I had nobody at all. My dad was on a business trip, my mom with her current boyfriend. My friends thought it would be a good idea.” His gaze was impeccable. He barely even blinked. It was hard for me to tell him all of this, I knew how much he had hated the guy. It was one of the things I had refused to talk to Harry about. We talked about everything except for Ethan. I kept our whole relationship to myself. Even when he broke up with me I would cry into my pillow so I wouldn’t have to see Harry give me the “I told you so” look.

“It was one of those things I regretted instantly. And then even more once I found out.”

“I don’t want to stop you, but.. You were with Ethan not long after I left for the X Factor right?”

 

“Yeah so?”

“So how did you know that it.. s-she couldn’t possibly of been… mine?”

“Because we were always safe, and I wasn’t always with Ethan. Plus I had her and him both tested, to be sure.”

He wasn’t talking. At all. Just staring at me.

“After I had him tested I thought he’d feel better about the whole situation. But he just left.”

Silence.

“I didn’t expect you to have a lot to say but it would make me feel a lot better if you would say something.”

He let out a breath that I expect he had been holding for a while. “I love you. I always have. I just, I want you to know.”

His body slammed into mine as we crashed backwards onto the wall of my hotel room. Our lips moving urgently, as his tongue swirled around in my mouth, his deep groans filled the hotel room. I tugged on his t-shirt tightly, pulling him closer to me as we continued to kiss. His blazer was carelessly discarded in behind him. I’m not even sure how we got to this point. I loved him, I always had but this was unreal. One of my hands found it’s way to his neck, tangling his soft, luscious curls. Everything was flooded back to me.

 

“I love you too.”

 

**

RIIIIINNGGGG!!

My head snapped up from my resting place on Harrys chest, my neck cracking in the process. I groaned, rolling over onto my back. Slowly opening my eyes, I found myself in the same very plain hotel room, one we would be leaving tonight for a new hotel room.

RIIIINNGGGG!!

“Fucking alarm,” I mumbled, hoisting myself up off of Harry. I walked over to the desk and shut off the alarm on my phone that I had set for 8:30. The boys would need to be styled around 1:30, and I had so much to do. Not only that I had left Mary with Lou all night.

“Where you going love?” Harry mumbled into the pillow benieth his face.

 

“I have to go get Mary. I left her with Lou all night.”

 

“No, she’s in her crib.”

 

“What? How?”

 

“Lou brought her back at like midnight. You were asleep so I put her to bed,”

 

“You could of woke me up you know?”

 

“Yeah, but your adorable when you sleep.”

 

I could feel my face flush.

 

Knock Knock

“Probably one of the boys.” Harry mumbled walking into the other room where Mary was hopefully still asleep.

 

“Morning Louis!”

 

“Is it a good morning?”

 

“Uh, is this a trick question?”

 

“Please tell me you have Harry in here somewhere and he didn’t decide it would be okay to run off again?”

 

I chuckled. “I have him.”

 

“YES! GUYS I FOUND HARRY! AND HE GOT IT IN!” Was everything that happened in this circle meant to broadcast to everyone.

 

“Alright guys get in here before you get hotel security called.” One by one all four guys shuffled into my room. Louis, Liam, Zayn, and last Niall.

 

“I’m glad everything worked out.” He whispered before kissing me on the cheek and taking Mary out of Harry’s arms.

“Why are you all in my room again?”

 

“We lost Harry, and Paul said he was going to shut down the rest of the tour if we didn’t find him. We looked here first and got lucky.” Liam responded, always the responsible one.

 

“NOT AS LUCKY AS HARRY GOT!” Louis yelled again.

 

“Louis must you scream everything? You’re going to freak Mary out.”

 

“Sorry.” He mumbled before taking Mary from Niall and gently rocking her. Apparently it was time for pass the baby.

 

“Alright can you guys get out. I need to get stuff ready for later.”

 

“I don’t have to leave right?” Harry said smiling.

 

“You can stay, as long as you keep her occupied.” Pointing to Mary who had just thrown off Louis’s reading glasses.

I walked the boys to the door and ushered them out.

“If you get pregnant again, I call dibs on being the godfather,” Louis smirked. I quickly gasped and hit him as hard as I could on the shoulder. He giggled as he left the room and headed next door.

 

“They’re just happy.” Harry said. “Are you happy?”

 

I didn’t even seem to have second thoughts, but if I really did it didn’t cross my mind. “I’m happy.”  
\--  
The only reason I was enjoying my day at all was cause I had convinced my dad to let Lux come along with me. We went to lunch twice a month but other than that he was always so big with work that I didn’t see him much. I sat staring into my overly cooked clam chowder when he finally tried to make some sort of not awkward conversation with me.

“So you birthday is coming up, anything in particular you want?”

“I would like you and mom not to fight so much.”

“Well you know how your mother can be, it’s hard not to fight with her.”

That is exactly what he always said, how can you be with a person and hate them so much? From what I had read in moms diary she talked about dad a lot. Stuff with me, him actually being a parent, where they would take me on holidays, stuff like that. Did nothing ever work out?


	10. Chapter 10

The boy’s show was beyond amazing as usual. It was their sixth show of the small American tour and they were all looking forward to their next four days off. Not going to lie so was I. It had been non stop go go go. Not only was I dressing and organizing five boys, I still had to be a parent to Mary and find time to do things for myself, which I found no time for. I had finally put it to Harry to go stay in his room with Louis because I was exhausted each night and desperately needed a bubble bath.

After my first night of relaxing, I woke up the next morning feeling better than I had in almost a month. That feeling never seems to stay long enough for me to enjoy it though. Right when my feet had hit the floor Mary started to cry and my phone began to ring. I walked into Mary’s conjoined room scooped her out of her crip and grabbed my phone on my way back into the living area.

“Hello?”

“Sam, it’s Jennifer. I just talked to the One Direction management and they said they boys are having their next four days off.”

“Uh yes, I believe that’s true.”

“Good I need you to get on the ten o’ clock flight back here. Try and get your mom to take Mary. JLS are on a tour right now and their stylist has come down with a terrible sickness, I need you to get back here and then fly to New York as soon as possible. I’ve already booked your tickets. Please don’t let me down.”

“Jennifer I-I”

“Sam please?”

‘Okay, i’ll be on the plane.”

And to think my days were going to start slowing down. Was it going to get easy soon?

I called my mother who was more than happy to take Mary from me for a few days. She always was though. While I continued packing I called Harry. No answer. He was probably still asleep.

After almost an hour of getting all of my stuff together I hoisted Mary up onto my hip and started down the hall. I had asked Paul to help bring my bags down which he gladly accepted. Before completely leaving I stopped by Harry and Lou’s room.

“Hey Sam!” Lou excitedly said while bringing me into a hug and then kissing Mary on the cheek.

“I came to see Harry, my boss just called and I have to go help on another tour while you guys are on break.”

“Well I’d love to help but he was gone long before I got up, thought he was with you.”

“No.. Okay well I have a flight in like an hour I have to go, I’ll try and call him again.”

“Have fun!”

“Business trip Lou.”

“Oh right, well good luck!”

“Bye!”

I had made it through security without any problems. The flight was right around Marys nap time and wasn’t very long at all so that also went quite smoothly. I had made it back to the office in time to get all of my information and meet the open arms of my mother, who took a sleeping Mary and hurried off almost before I could say goodbye. Almost.

I slumped my way back to the airport to find that my flight was delayed and I hadn’t eaten all day. I was sitting in a Jamba Juice when my phone rang. It was Harry.

“Hello.”

“Hey love, sorry I was MIA this morning I went to go get breakfast and got completely mobbed.”

“It’s okay. Just wanted to see you before I left.”

“What? Sam, I can’t hear you. Are you in the airport now, servic-”

And he was gone. Awesome. I figured I would move to the waiting area and maybe even take a little nap. Delayed flights weren’t my thing and I absolutely hated airports.

Right when I had entered the waiting area, I was taken back by the amount of people. There wasn’t one bench open and there were loads of people standing about. And that’s when I seen him. His appearance was impeccable as always, the way his hair fell, his crooked cheeky grin. Harry, standing not twenty feet from me.

“Wh-what are y-you doing here?” I managed to stammer as I approched him.

“I meant to tell you. I’m really ‘The JLS tour’ and New York is really Miami. I called Jennifer and asked her to play along. And your mom.”

“What?” I was in all honesty really confused.

“The only time we have had together have been while one of us was working. You needed a break. We needed a break together. I wanted to take you home, but management said I wasn’t allowed to leave the country.”

“Were you always this sweet?”

“Of course love. You’re just blind.”

“Speaking of being blind, my contacts are itching like crazy, do I have time to go take them out?”

“Yeah you’ve got like half an hour.”

“Okay i’ll be right back.” I kissed him on the cheek and hurried to the ladies room.

I just got my contacts out, and if i’m completely honest i’m pretty much blind without them.

“Excuse me are you Sam? The One Direction stylist? Dating Harry Styles? And you have a baby?!” I was being bombarded by a five foot two fifteen year old girl.

“Uh, i’m sorry I really have to go.” How did she know all of this? And why was she in the same bathroom as me?

Everything seemed to be fine when I left the bathroom until I turned the corner back into the lounge. The amount of people had doubled. And it seemed like everyone had a camera.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that they would know I was here.” Harry whispered into my ear before ushering me through security and to the elevators. Was I going to be able to do this? The press could be really viscous and scary. They would bound to find so much out about. Thing that I wasn’t sure I wanted the whole world to know. Things I didn’t even want to be reminded myself.


	11. Chapter 11

*Flashback summer between Junior and Senior Year *

My mom was was in Cuba with her boyfriend because somebody had told them it was a good vacation spot. She called me in hysteria not even a day into her trip cause she hated it so much. My dad was at work. Like always, he worked so he could get through college although he should of gone to school twenty years earlier. Harry’s dad had taken his current girlfriend to London to bring her to where he had come from. It was a nice thought but he would have a different girl to take somewhere else in a month.

We were staying together at Harrys house because although I was obviously old enough to be by myself neither of our dads would have it. I was lying in Harrys bed when I heard a loud noise downstairs.

Here we go again. Harry was livid, extremely livid. He had already thrown his phone, shattering it and the glass coffee table it was aimed at. I was used to his temper. I understood it because mine was the same. But he wasn’t always so bad. Tonight something must of really set him off.

I was in a pair of boyshorts and Harry’s Ramones shirt when I heard the door slam. Harry never slammed the door unless he was angry. It was almost like a warning for what was about to come. I got to the bottom of the stairs to see all of the glass pieces shower the floor. I knew I wouldn’t be able to go any further without getting a piece in my foot. What the hell was his problem tonight?

I walked back up to Harry’s room in search of a pair of shoes. Looking through the closet, I found Harrys white converse. As I slid them on, I heard another smash. On my way back down the stairs I heard a thud. He was about to throw a punch at the flat screen when I grabbed his arm.

I could feel his body tense as soon as I wrapped my fingers around his bicep. It took a couple seconds but his fist dropped. He hung his head as he sat down. I took in how much damage there was done. The coffee table, his phone, and a lamp were smashed and the couch was tipped over.

I turned to where he was sitting. His head was now cradled in his hands and his elbows rested on his knees. Carefully stepping through the glass shards, I made my way over to him. I stood in front of him and took his hands. He still didn’t lift his head as I straddled his lap.

“Now isn’t the time.” Harry said, his voice still laced with anger.

“It’s always the right time.”

“No really, go back upstairs.”

“Are you going to make me?” My voice was timid but stern.

“Sam get out of here. Just go back to your house for the night.”

“No.” Why was he pushing me away so much. “Tell me what happened.”

“Gabby cheated on me.”

“Gabby, I thought you guys weren’t even together?”

“I didn’t want to tell you, you hated her.”

“And you don’t think I hate her more now?”

Before I could continue Harry grabbed my face and began to kiss me. “You’re my best friend and you’re always here for me. I love you.” Everytime Harry was even intimite with me he would spill his undenying love. Except for the first time I chose to ignore it. That was Harry, I wouldn’t doubt if it slipped out everytime he was getting freaky with someone.

My arms were around his neck and his hands were on my hips. “I love you too.” I muttered into the kiss. I my legs around his waist and my arms still around his neck. He pressed his hard on right on my throbbing center, making me lean my head back and let out a moan. But one of Harry’s hands gently found the back of my neck, pulling me back to him.

He stayed right there as he licked my bottom lip. I separated my lips and let him in. Harry was always dominate, and it wasn’t any different tonight. Usually I try and fight him for dominance. But tonight, I let Harry win. He was more than upset. He had thrashed everything and I could see the broken in his eyes.

Present

I woke up completely startled. I hadn’t actually dreamed about an actual event in a really long time. When most of your dreams are about things that might happen or are so out of the ordinary that they will never actually happen in real life. But I had dreamed about me and Harry. It might have been because I was laying wrapped in his arms in a posh hotel in Miami. The sun was shining through the golden curtains and the room was excessively warm.

“Good morning.” Harry grumbled into my neck. “Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?”

‘Ready for a big day?”

“Are you intentionally trying to confuse me?”

“I have a whole day planned out, but it’s a surprise so don’t be confused.”

I showered and got dressed. A pair of simple blue jeans and a black and white floral top. I was still hiding parts of me, I had had a baby so my body wasn’t as it once was. With Harry what was I really suppose to expect today. I was stopped by my own thoughts. I practically ran out of the bathroom, my hair still soaking and my make up only half way done.

“Is this our first date?”

“What?” I think I might of scared him a little bit. “Yes, I guess it is.”

“Okay.”

“Wait, what was that? I practically pooed myself and then you just walk away?”

“I just needed to hear it. I mean we have already.. and the press is obviously all over it. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”

We started the day with a walk along the beach, Followed by lunch in the fanciest restaurant in town. Back to the beach. Downtown for some shopping which I tried to resist, but Harry was all for spending money. I kept trying to shy away from the baby stuff to not push the fact. But Harry kept grabbing little outfits that he thought Mary would look good in. Or toys that he thought she would like.

After yet another way too expensive meal we started to walk back to the hotel. I don’t think we were even inside for ten minutes before Harry grabbed my hand and pulled me to the deck. He wrapped his arms around my waist before pointing up.

“Look Love. It’s suppose to be the only visible meteor shower of the year.”

It was beautiful, and I was happy.


	12. Chapter 12

The next morning I had woken up before Harry again, showered, got dressed and when I was finished no suprise he was still asleep. I decided to check twitter. I had a few mentions from some friends and my dad’s girlfriend who has become a very frequent tweeter. There were so many mentions from people I had never talked to before in my life. And honestly I was really confused until I seen a lot of the twitter names: @Mrs__Styles, @Harrygivemegravy, @1Dforever. They were a lot of fan accounts. And when I checked my followers it was even more extreme. I had like 130 followers yesterday morning and today I had over 6,000. 

I was quite intrigued so I googled myself. Plastered all over the first page of google were pictures of me and Harry walking on the beach, eating lunch, laying in the sand, a few from a game of volleyball we joined. The first of the text posts said “We all knew Harry Styles like a MILF but this one is actually his age!” Right below it was a picture of me leaving one of the concerts cradling Mary in my arms.

This was unreal. I knew that it would get out eventually but this was so fast. I could see Harry start to move in bed and I knew that he was getting ready to get up. I decided not to bring it up to him, it was going to happen either way and he couldn’t really do anything about it. No matter how he tried it was physically impossible for him to change what the press ran. And I knew how Harry got when he was upset, it wasn’t worth ruining the trip. 

I crawled back into bed snuggled up next to Harry who wrapped me in his still sleepy embrace. I pulled out my phone and called my mom. 

“Sam! I’m so glad you called! Mary said Grandma today! Not Nana but full on Grandma!”

“What?! Mom that’s great, just the once or..?”

“She hasn’t stopped. She keeps repeating it! It’s so adorable!”

I nunged Harry in the ribs, slightly rocking him. I was almost too excited to sit still.

“Sam, what?” He said very grumply. 

“I’m on the phone with my mom, Mary said Grandma today! Like the whole word!”

“That’s lovely.” He said before stalking out of the bed and to the bathroom.

I had to remind myself that he wasn’t a parent so I shouldn’t get mad at him for not being excited. “Mom, that’s truely wonderful. Give her a big kiss for me. I’m going to go get ready.” Lie. 

Harry came back out of the bathroom, I was trying to advert my gaze from his perfect body. I didn’t want him to know that I was slightly upset with him.

“You okay?”

“Peachy.”

“Okay, so you’re not okay. Whats wrong?”

“I just get wrapped up and forget that i’m the only parent here.” Why did I ruin everything? “I was having a Mommy moment, i’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. I’m sorry I wasn’t excited. I’m just used to being around kids that go home at night.”

“I know.” Trying my hardest to change the topic “So what do you have up your sleeve today?”

“I was hoping we could just stay in. Something I had planned to do in Paris, but they wouldn’t let us leave the country.” 

“And what are we doing while we stay in?” He was cheeky so this was about to be intresting.

He took two swift steps towards me, he grabbed my face very gently and although he was just normal Harry to me today I could see the lust in his eyes. 

I felt his fingers trailing along my thighs, his lips moving hungrily against mine, his tongue teasing gently into my mouth. I kissed him back with as much force, my hands grasping at the base of his neck, a moan sounding in my throat. His touch drove me wild, and my pulse raced as his lips slid down along my neck, setting sweet little kisses along my throat.

He pulled away, his eyes connecting with mine, sparks spurting inside my heart. His aqua-green gaze bore into me, before his eyes floated up and down my figure briefly.

“I love you.” His voice was a warm, sweet trickle, a little sugar coated whisper, his lips curling up into a smile as his eyes searched mine.

“I love you too,” I replied, taking his face in my hands, smoothing my thumbs along his cheekbones.

Swiftly he moved me from the wall of the hotel to the bed. “You’re so perfect,” he whispered, smiling lopsidedly as he pressed a tentative kiss to my lips, his mouth quickly travelling down my jaw, my neck, his tongue slipping over every crevice of my collarbones. I wanted to give myself over to him, let him have all of me, but I just couldn’t. My mind couldn’t relax, couldn’t succumb to his touch, my heart thrumming unnaturally fast in my chest.

“Harry, i’m nervous.” 

“Why love?”

“I’ve only been with you, and Ethan. And i’m not exactly 16 anymore.” Yes me and Harry had been hot and heavy last week but we hadn’t had sex. Just fooled around a bit and then layed together til we fell asleep. 

“You’re beautiful and I love you. I just want you to know that.”

We moved together, as close as two people could be; his touch soft but smouldering on my skin, his lips frantic against mine, my nails tearing the skin of his back. His name rolled from my lips again and again, his caresses driving my senses wild, the building tension in my abdomen becoming stronger with his every thrust. He drove me to the edge, our climaxes hitting one after the other. I couldn’t restrain my screams of his name, his beautiful name, as he growled mine in return. We pulled apart, lying together on the bed, his hands playing gently with my hair. Our clammy, warm bodies held each other as we both drifted to sleep, my dreams of him replaying the events of that morning. I had never felt more in love with anybody, and I realised that he was the only one, the only boy, that I wanted.

The four days of vacation passed quickly and before we knew it we were laying down for the last night of our days off. Harry went on twitter to express his feelings about how great his four days off were when he had seen the pictures flowing in his mentions. And along with that he seen all of the hate that I was getting. He consolded me and tried to make me think of the fans that were happy for us. The ones that had given us a couple name, “Sarry” and even the few that were persistant to try to get “Ham” to stick. For the rest of the day Every time he caught me frowning he’d send me a smile, and cheeky little grin just for me. He kept giving me these looks, these pained, beautiful looks like he was fighting with himself, like he wanted desperately to tell me some secret. He told me I was pretty, gorgeous, smart, funny, beautiful…he gave me every compliment anyone could think of. I kept looking into his eyes, almost hoping that I’d see a snippet of a lie in them. Because I almost couldn’t bear to think that he actually believed I was worth anything.

The next morning I woke up uneasy, Harry shuffling gently next to me, I wasn’t ready to actually get out of bed. Even with the alarm screaming that we had a flight in less than three hours. There was a large section of the One Direction fandom that hated me and still insisted on telling me to die via Twitter. And as if all that wasn’t enough, now I got butterflies every time I looked at Harry. I sighed to myself, wishing things could just be easy. Wishing that, just for once, my life wouldn’t have to be a complicated mess.


	13. Chapter 13

We had spent the very last amount of the morning in bed, I had packed everything while Harry was still asleep and we were waiting for our cab to arrive to take us to the airport and back to Seattle where the tour would be starting up again. We finally made it downstairs and we were waiting to check out when a group of fans came running up to get pictures and autographs with Harry.

“I’ll check us out, go.” He had been out of the spotlight for a full four days and you could tell his fans were getting restless with lack of Harry.

I had finished checking out with the very young cheeky hotel employee, who didn’t really care that I was trying to get checked out but more that I was dating Harry Styles and she wanted to know everything we did on our vacation. I was waiting just outside the front doors breathing in the frest air waiting for our cab. It was nice to have a second by myself and especially without all the fans screaming in my ear about my own holiday.

“Hi love.” Harry spoke into my ear, breaking me from my thoughts and wrapping his arms around my waist. He began to caress my neck with wet kisses and little love bites.

“Harry I swear if you leave another mark..” I giggles while pulling out a mirror from my bag and checking my neck again. “You did! This is going to be everywhere!”

“Sorry kitten, looks like you’ll have to punish me for it later…” His voice is deep and soft, yet rough all at once. The slowness of his sentence and his rich accent sends shivers down my spine. He chuckles at my response and I slap the back of his curls playfully.”Lets go, our cabs here.”

**

The weeks passes reluctlently fast. Mary had come back on tour and everynight was a different excitement for me. She was walking perfectly so much better than she was before. She was starting to put sentances together and had really taken to each of the boys, just as much as they have taken of her.

Niall loved to sit at the table and eat with her, it was almost too cute to be true honestly. Whenever I sat her down to feed her she would cry and spit the baby food back at me. Whenever Niall sat down to eat with her the only reason there would be food on the floor was because she would get too excited with Niall and end up accidently throwing the food from her hands and face. He totally loved the amusement in Marys face.

Louis and Liam loved to take Mary swimming. To be honest I completely hated the idea. I had never learned to properly swim at all. My dad tried to teach me when I was younger but I would just throw myself into a panic and end up thrashing and gulping down gallons of water. Lou and Liam were amazing with her though, they always stayed in the shallow end to my request and always had two hands on her at all times.

Zayn was less active with Mary but I would catch him at times laying down with Mary for a nap. She took to him very quickly and he even helped her fall asleep faster than I could sometimes. Something they had in common apparently but none-the-less is was adorable.

Harry was the most active with Mary. With us spending so much time together it meant that me, him, and Mary spent a lot of time together. If we went to dinner, she went to dinner, if we wanted to watch movies she would crawl around of the floor til she fell asleep the movies ended. If we wanted alone time she made sure to cry and take us apart from each other. It was cute but it was stressful.

The last night of the tour after the show had finished Me, Mary, Lou, Lux and all five boys were seated in Liams room. The night was full of endless banter. While Harry and Louis sat in front of Mary and Lux trying to teach them words that i’m sure they weren’t going to learn until they hit pre-school. My heart literally stopped beating when Mary looked straight into Harrys sparkling green eyes and said “Daaaa-Daaaa.”

You could of heard a pin drop after she spoke those words. Of course it had been a few months that we had been on tour with the boys, and of course me and Harry spent the most time together and us being together looked like we were her parents but she wasn’t even two yet how was she to know anything of the sort?

*2 weeks later *

I was nicely settled back into the comfort zone that is my apartment. It’s small, a flat. One of the smallest kitchens, there was no dining room which was always okay because whenever I made meals it was just me and Mary so the couch and her high chair was enough. Two small bedrooms, mine and right across the living room was Marys. I had the hardest time when she was first born, she was always too far away from me even though I had two different baby monitors. One small bathroom and a little deck which held two coushined lawn chairs.

Tonight me and Harry were getting ready for a long night of nothingness. My mom had taken Mary because she said it had been too long since she had seen her, a whole three days. Harry was in the shower and I was taking lasagna out of the oven when the doorbell rang.

I opened the door to a middle aged man in a pair of black slacks and a blue button up shirt. I had never seen the man before though he looked vaguely fimilar.

“Sam Johanson?”

“Yes?”

“You’ve just been served.” With his words he handed me a minilia envelope and walked away.

“You alright?” Harry said walking out of the steam filled bathroom.

I nodded slowly, even though it was a blatant lie.

He sighed loudly, tousling his chocolate brown waves. He wrapped an arm around me cautiously, obviously afraid I was going to start yelling. When I didn’t, he pulled me into a tight hug, his arms being the place I wanted to stay. He smelled so good, and he felt so inviting. I sobbed a little as he held me, and he rubbed my back gently, soothing me.

“Shush, it’s okay… I’m here…”

I pulled out of his embrace, wiping fresh tears away quickly, not wanting to spoil his fresh looking white t-shirt.

“It’s Ethan….” I began to sob again.

“Love what about him?”

“He’s filing for custody of Mary…”


	14. Chapter 14

I read the custody papers. And then read them again, and again. I haven’t had to deal with anything in the way of me and my child. Harry tried his best to reassure me that i was a good mother and there was no way after all this time he was going to get Mary from me. I didn’t have a lot of the things that Ethan had. When we had gone out it was always big fancy restraunts and big extravagent adventures. I never really had the money to do other things and even now I still probably had the little when it came to money and a career. There were so many things that passed through my mind, What if he had a really good lawyer? Or what if they used mine and Harrys relationship against me? 

“Babe lets go to bed, reading them again won’t change anything.” Harry was right.

“I just.. I don’t have…”

“Look the band has a pretty good system so why don’t we bring it to them. They won’t be able to actually do anything but they can tell us what we can do.” 

“We?”

“Yes we, cause I love you and I love Mary. We’ll figure something out.”

“Thank you. You go to bed though, i’m going to clean up from dinner.”

“Okay but don’t be long.” He kissed my head and walked off to the bedroom.

I sat at the counter and ate a muffin in silence thinking about what exactly life was meaning to me right now. I finished the muffin, put the dishes in the sink and headed to my room, to Harry. I promised myself that I would finish the dishes in the morning before my mom dropped Mary back off. 

I walked back into the bedroom to see that Harry seemed to have fallen right asleep so I scooped up my towel and a fresh pair of underwear before heading to the bathroom.

The water ran over my body, the steam filled the room so it was like the Amazon, the sound was calming and eased my tension and helped me think. Everything was Harry to me, it was like Ethan was no loner a thought like he had been all night, I had replaced him with Harry. I closed my eyes and pictured the first kiss between me and Harry, I was sixteen and Harry was fifteen. We had gone to a party down the road from our houses and Harry had started to drink way more than he should have. He was trying to impress a girl that he liked but she seemed to ignore him all night. He had kissed me in his room after I had managed to get him back into his own house with waking his father, screaming profanities, and without throwing up everywhere.

I grinned and washed my hair, my body and then shut the water off. I got out and dried off, brushed my teeth, shut off the bathroom light and headed to bed, as I climbed in i noticed Harry had changed out of his clothes and was now under the covers.

“How was your shower love?”

“It was very relaxing.”

“Good you need to be relaxed.” Harry nuzzled into the crook of my neck and started mumbling stuff.

“Is there something you wanted to tell me Haz?”

“I just wanted to tell you goodnight, and sweet dreams”, he replied. “I love you. It’s going to be okay.” 

“I love you too.”

I looked at the clock, it said 3:23 A.M. Harry was fast asleep with his arm around me. I just couldn’t fall asleep, Ethan had been on my mind all night. I had woken up from a dream from when me and Ethan had been together except at the end of my dream I didn’t have Mary, but neither did Ethan. It was like she didn’t exist at all. And that actually seemed to scare me more than Ethan taking her from me.

I couldn’t sleep, so I grabbed my phone. 1 new voicemail I slowly slid out of Harrys arms and walked into the bathroom. I rested against the countertop and listened to it, it was from Ethan.

“Sam, I know you have probably recieved the paperwork and I want you to know that I think we should meet up and talk about this. And if you could please bring Mary I would really appreciate it.”

I wake up, rolling over to find nothing but bed sheets. I sit upright, and a tear rolled down my cheek. Why had Ethan called, and where the hell was Harry?

I wrapped myself in my blankey and woddled out into the living room, there was Harry sitting on the couch feeding Mary what looked like cream peas. 

“Jesus what time is it?”

“It’s about noon. Your mom dropped Mary off at ten. She really wanted to talk with you but I wanted to let you sleep. You were kind of wimpering in your sleep all night.”

“Yeah, Ethan called me last night.”

Harry quickly sprang up from the couch. “What? Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I didn’t answer, my phone was on silent I just listened to the message.”

“Can I hear it? The message, if you want.”

I handed him my phone and traded places with him sitting in front of Mary. 

“Maaaaaa” 

“Hi baby, did you have fun with Grandma?”

“Yaaaaaa.” 

The day Mary said her first word I had been at work and I had pulled a double shift and had just finished off a two week, 9 hours each day helping Jennifer design the new JLS tour outfits. I was beyond exhausted and I was over paying a sitter whom I wasn’t sure I actually wanted her to keep sitting. Mary was propped up on the couch chewing on a teething ring, she looked down at her stuffed puppy which I had named Peter, I don’t even remember why, and said “Dawww-g”. All of the stress of my week had been forgotten about. 

“So what do you want to do, about Ethan?”

“I don’t want to see him, but do you think it will help us.”

“You never know. Maybe if he sees her then he’ll not take it so extreme.”

“Hopefully.”

“I made an appoitment with Paul and our lawyer, it’s at two. We’re going to figure everything out. And it’s going to be hard, and it’s going to take a lot out of you but i’ll still be here, and the boys, they will all be here too.”

88

The meeting seemed to do absolutely nothing for me at least. Harry sat up, attentive and intrigued with the whole meeting, he asked a lot of questions and commented on almost all of what was being said on the situation. I sat in complete silence rocking Mary on my knee. I really wanted this to be over, the only thing that I was getting from this was that it was going to be a fight. The last thing that I wanted was a fight, I didn’t want it for Mary and I didn’t want it for me and Harry.

We had thanked Paul and the pieces of management that we had met with. When we got back to the car Harry buckled Mary into her carseat and climbed into the driver seat next to me. 

“So what do you want to do?”

“Lets meet up with him.” Harrys face was full of concern and a little bit on anger.

“You want to what?”

“I don’t know. I mean I do but.. It needs to be done Harry, how else is this suppose to be worked out?” It didn’t change the way he was feeling I could tell. “I will call and talk to him, but I will only go if he agrees to let you come with. Will that make you feel better about it?”

“I don’t feel good about it at all, but I would like to be able to go with you.”

After about an hour we were on our way to Ethans house. I had called ahead, told him that I didn’t want to meet out in public and had asked very polietly if I could bring Harry. He hesitated but agreed. Maybe he knew that we had both moved on, we were just kids in the first place things were different now. The anger that had fuelled me here had burned away, and the only emotion I know felt was guilt. It was eating away at me; I suddenly wasn’t sure whether I was doing the right thing. Harry grasped my hand from the drivers seat, he probably seen my facial expression change with the thoughts in my head. 

This was it.


	15. Chapter 15

We had arrived at Ethans house almost 15 minutes ago. I hadn’t got the nerve to get out of the car yet, but Mary was starting to get restless in her carseat. 

“Love if were going to go in, we should go in soon, Mary is starting to get upset and we were suppose to be here like half an hour ago.” 

“Okay lets go.”

A girl about my age, or maybe a year older opened the door. She had long wavy blond hair and sparkling grey eyes. She had almost a perfect figure and was dressed in clothes I only would of seen on the racks for the dancers at one of the boys concerts. 

“You must be Sam, and you’re Harry Styles.” Her attention turned from me and Mary right to Harry. As everybody’s attention always did. “My name is Tabby, Ethan is in the kitchen it’s this way.”

We followed Tabby throught the hall and through the living room into the kitchen. Ethan was leaning on the island in the middle of the kitchen rocking back and forth on his heels. His hair was longer but his eye were the same old blue. He had put on some weight but was still just as athletic as he was in high school. 

“You came. I’m glad.” Hearing his voice was different. The last time he spoke to me he was screaming about how stupid I was for not remembing something as simple as a condom. And then I watched him walk away, and now here I am standing in a mans kitchen who abondended me when I needed him the most, even if I didn’t want him. “So you’ve met my girlfriend Tabby.”

“What did you want to talk about Ethan.” I wanted to get this moving, I wanted to get out of here.

“I want to be a part of my childs life, I don’t feel it’s fair for me to be replaced. I understand maybe it’s a little late but I didn’t know that you were planning on giving her a new dad until I seen it plastered all over the papers.” His voice was the same tone as when he had left. It had taken me this whole trip to realize he hadn’t changed a bit.

“What’s her name?” I said shakily.

“Excuse me?”

“The child, the one you just decided you wanted to be in’s life after almost two years. Her name Ethan.”

“I.. I.. Do..”

“Exactly! You couldn’t even stay around long enough to find out what I was going to name her! How do you think you can be a part of her life now.” My tears were building but I was doing everything in my power to hold back. Mary could feel my tense up and shifted from me and into Harrys lap, who welcomed her with open arms and a kiss on the forehead. That was what she needed. Not Ethan and not blond super-model Tabby. 

“Samantha.”

“Don’t call me Samantha, you can’t do this to me. It’s not fair. She’s my baby. You weren’t there, ever. And now you’re doing this because someone else is, why?”

“I don’t know.”

“If you don’t know then dropped the paperwork you filed. What are you going to do with a child anyways. You don’t know anything about her.”

“I want to be a part of her life. Something, I don’t want to be a dead-beat-dad.”

“You are.” I was cold but it was true. “I’m sorry but it’s not fair. I won’t allow you to have full custody of her.”

“Partial. A weekend, something.” 

I stared down at my hands. There had to be a way to make everything better. Something that would keep Ethan off my back and keep my little family together. 

“How about birthdays and holidays.”

“I don’t want to be just some guy at your holiday dinners though.”

“I’ll agree to split them up, so she still has two families. But when she gets older, she’s going to know that you were the guy who left.” I could barely choke out the last words and I felt Harry reach over and grab my hand. “Ethan…”

“Okay. I’ll call my lawyer in the morning.” 

I had no other response to Ethan, I had nothing left in me. I grabbed Mary’s diaper bag from my feet and instructed Harry to move towards the front door. But right before we left I turned towards Ethan and looked straight through him.

“Her name is Mary.” And then I left. 

The rest of the night went on very slowly and very blurred. Harry fed, changed, and played with Mary until she practically passed out on the floor. He then got her into pajamas and took her into the nursery. He wasn’t in there for more than ten minutes before he came back out.

“She’s asleep.” And I was so confused. “Sam?” He whispered, looking into my eyes.

I smile at first, but then seen the serious expression on his face and stopped. He leans forward slowly and meets my lips with his. I respond immediately, tangling my fingers in his hair, I was so drained with the days actions that being with Harry had made everything change in almost an instant. He wrapped his arms around my waist. But pulled away quickly, sitting more comfortably before pulling me onto his lap so I straddled him and initiates the kiss again. I gasp as his hands reach round to my back, while he took the opportunity to slip his tongue in and deepen the kiss. It’s was amazing, almost magical. 

My tears broke the kiss apart. Harry didn’t even ask what was wrong. He just scooped me up and carried me to bed, tucking me in and wrapping his arms around me. 

“Everything is going to be okay, because i’m not going anywhere.” I smiled into his chest, hearing his words was exactly what I needed.


	16. Chapter 16

The next couple of days passed in a blur. I was back at work and for the time being Harry had agreed to stay with Mary. None of it had bothered me at all until I was at work sewing together a pair of pants that Jennifer was going to be pitching to the JLS management when my phone started to go off. I ignored the unknown caller and tucked my phone into pocket. It was too early to get distracted and I wasn’t suppose to be on my personal phone anyways. 

Marcus one of the phone clerks had come around the corner of where I was working and quite frankly startled me. “Sam there is someone on the phone for you, they didn’t say who they were but it seemed pretty important.” 

“Sam Johanson.” I answered in my most professional phone voice.

“Sam…” The voice was quiet and shaky.

“Liam, is that you?” 

“Yeah it’s me.”

“I’m pretty busy is everything okay?”

“It’s Mary, I need you to meet us at St. Peters Hospital.” 

“The hospital! Liam what happened? Where is Harry?!”

“It’s okay Sam, Harry is with her right now but you should probably get here soon there is a lot of paperwork that needs to be done.”

I wasted no time getting out of the office, I told Jennifer what I was told and she allowed me to leave no problem. I managed to hold in my tears the whole ride to the hospital, I hadn’t actually known what had happened but just the fact that Mary might be hurt or sick was tearing me apart on the inside. 

I entered the hospital to the scent of latex and tried to push my way through the line in front of the elevators. There were an abundance of people in the hospital and I didn’t have the patience to wait around for the elevator so I took the stairs. The signs directed me to the emergency room which was also quite packed.

Liam, Niall, Zayn and Louis were all pacing back and forth in the waiting room, running their hands through their hair and rocking back and forth on their heels. They looked like complete wrecks.

“What happened?” They hadn’t noticed me show up and were startled with my sudden words. 

It was Zayn that spoke “We all went to the park. Everything was fine.” 

“So what happened?”

“Uh, were not really sure we had lunch and her face started to swell, and get all purple.”

“So she was choking?!” 

“No, the doctors said she had an allergic reaction to something she ate.”

“Where is she?”

“Room 413.”

Right when I turned onto my heels to head down the hallway Niall spoke, “Hey Sam, we’re really sorry.” 

I didn’t say anything back I just walked away, it wasn’t their fault. 

The door to Marys room was open and Harry was laying in the bed with her having a small conversation about the cartoon on the tv.

“Mama.” I could see the excitement in her face but because of the position she was in she couldn’t really yell it, so it came out more of a whisper. “Guess what I did today?”

“What did you do baby?” I shot Harry a look and replaced his place on Marys bed. 

I say with Mary while she babbled on about her day and then waited for her to drift off to sleep. I was desperate to know what had been going through Harrys head to let something like this happen.

His back was to me and he was pacing in front of the coffee machine, just staring. He wasn’t making himself a cup and the coffee pot was done he was just staring.

“Haz?”

He quickly turned “Sam. How is she?”

“The doctors say she will be fine. But i’m really intrested on why were even in this situation.”

“I don’t know, I-We just thought it would be a good idea to go to the park, and… I really fucked up.”

“Yes you did.” I was being too harsh and I knew it, “What did you give her to eat?”

“Turkey sandwitch, Cream peas, and some mambas.”

“Mambas!? Harry, i’m allergic to mambas! Of course she can’t have them! How could you be so stupid?!” 

“Stupid? You chose to leave her with me and i’m the stupid one!”

I buried my hands in my face, were we having our first fight as an actual couple? 

“I’m allergic to bleach too, I wouldn’t doubt it if Mary was too.”

“What?”

“Just future reference.”

“After this you’re actually going to let me be around Mary at all?”

“Of course, you’re like her…”

“Her daddy?” 

“I smiled to myself. “Yes.”

“I don’t think I can describe how happy I am you just said that.”

I clasped my hand with his, happy to feel the heat of his body against mine, my chest against his, our breathing in time. I listened to his heartbeat through his skin, pondering how these regular sounding thuds were the thing that kept this glorious creature alive, the source responsible for every breath of air he took, every smile, every adorable little laugh. The heart wrenching blush that coloured his cheeks every time I spoke the right words, every time I touched him, even the softest brush of our skin gaining the most glorious reaction from his body. I felt my heart pound inside me, so much faster, deeper, louder than his, brasher. 

A voice broke us apart. “Ms. Johanson if you just fill out the release form Mary will be free to go home.” 

“Thank you.” I retreated back to the nurses station to fill out all of her medical and release forms before making my way back to Marys room. She was sitting up in her bed with all four boys sitting with her. Lou was handing her a giant teddy bear that was much bigger than she was, Liam had a hand full of balloons, Zayn and Niall had two different types of cookies. And Harry was standing just off of the bed his hands in his pockets watching over the whole senerio. 

I was hoping that he was looking at her the way I had always been looking at her. I was happy that she was starting to get an actual family, not just an over protective mother but others to look out after her and protect her. 

I wrapped my arm from the side around Harrys waist. “What are you thinking about?”

“She just looks happy with the boys. Like she isn’t sitting in a hospital, that there was never anything wrong with her. It’s kind of like she has five dads.” 

“Yeah well only one of them gets to be with her mom.” I chuckled.

“Please tell me you’re not talking about Niall again?” I slapped his chest playfully.

“Alright Mar, it’s time to go home!” 

“Yay, whooo!” All the boys shouted in unision. 

88

The next morning I wasn’t reluctant at all with leaving Mary alone with Harry and the boys again. I struggled through work though, my mind was in so many different places. I had everything that I wanted. I still had some things to clear up with Ethan but everything else seemed to be perfect.

When I arrived home I seen the other boys cars and knew they were all probably making a diaster of the house. When I got to the doorstep I could hear absolutely nothing, not a sound was coming from inside. It was too late for Mary to be down for a nap, and all the cars were here so they hadn’t gone anywhere. I unlocked the door and stepped into complete darkness. 

“Harry?”

No response. So I shuffled into the room reaching for the side table lamp. When I turned on the lamp I noticed nothing out of the ordinary. Everything seemed to be in the places that I had left it this morning and nothing seemed to be broken, but my bedroom door was closed which was unusaul. 

“Haz?” I said slowly pushing the door to my room open. Harry, Mary, Liam, Niall, Zayn, Louis, Danielle, Eleanor, and Perrie were all laying in my bed cuddled up under the blankets watching The Lion King. “Awww look at you guys.”

“Oh look whose home on time for once!” Louis shouted getting a polite slap from El. 

“Hi girls, long time no see.” Each girl piled out of the bed to give hugs. We had always had a nice but distant relationship. Lots of texting and skype but never actually got to do a lot of sitting down and being together. 

“Alright do you need to get changed or anything?” Harry spoke from behind Danielle.

“Dressed for what?”

“I have a night planned for us, all the boys and even the girls are going to stay here with Mary so we can go out. You know it’s almost our sixth month right?” 

Shit. Was it that close already? “I guess i’m okay in what i’m in, where are we going?”

“You’ll see, now give the baby loves and lets go.” I didn’t argue, gave Mary kisses, and Louis who pouted his lips that he wasn’t getting any either and followed Harry out the front door, hand in hand. 

“Harry can i open my eyes yet?” I laughed. After our extraordinary dinner, Harry was quick to blindfold me for the second part of our night out. I rode in the car with this black fabric over my pupils, and now we have finally arrived at the destination.

“Almost there.” He whispered in my ear. I squeezed on to Harry’s hand as he helped me up a staircase. When we finally reached the top, i heard voices. No wait, let me rephrase that, i heard screaming. A lot of screaming. 

“Harry did you bring me to one of your concerts or something?” I asked stopping in my tracks. “No? We are on break so obviously that’s not where i brought you.” He laughed. I rolled my eyes from under the blindfold. 

Harry continued to walk me to this destination as i took baby steps all the way there. Finally i felt Harry’s hand lift up to my arm to stop me. “Were here.” He whispered. Not having any idea where i was i lifted my hand up to slide the fabric off my face to reveal a black curtain before me. I gave Harry a confused look. “Open it silly.” 

We stood backstage at an All Time Low concert. Harry knew they were my favorite band and I hadn’t been to a concert since before Mary was born. 

“Suprise!” It was absolutely incredible. Harry had finished the night off with backstage passes with I of course didn’t decline. I was able to meet my favorite band and it was incredible. I felt like a One Direction fan, but my dedication to someone elses music. 

We had been in the car for almost half an hour on our way home and although I hadn’t stopped smiling Harrys seemed really upset. 

“Harry are you okay? You’ve barely spoke at all.”

“It’s just, I needed to tell you something and I was going to at dinner but everything was going so good.” 

“Well tell me now.”

“I don’t want to ruin your night.”

“You’re going to ruin it if you don’t tell me now. You can’t bring it up and then not tell me.”

“We have to go back to London. In two weeks.” 

“Oh…”

“See I didn’t want to upset you.”

I reached for his hand, “I’m not upset, it’s your job. I’m not upset.” With my words I let a silent tear fall into my lap.

Chapter 16.5   
Me and Lux have been getting ready for almost two hours. I’m extremely nervous, my parents were meeting my boyfriend for the first time today. We’ve been together for over a month now and I only wanted him to actually come home with me if I knew how I felt about him. My feelings have been so strong and i’m unbelievably happy. My parents had me when they were 16. Well my mom had me when I was 16, if she was adult enough to have a child then I should be adult enough to decide who I did or didn’t want to love.   
“Mary snap out of it!” Lux’s voice brought me back to reality. “Your mom isn’t even that scary, it’s going to be fine.”   
“Not that scary? Have you seen her fight with people? Have you seen her and my dad fight!?”  
“That’s different, your mom and dad hate each other. And after the things we read in her diary I don’t really blame her.”  
“You’re right. Lets go before I change my mind about all of this.”


	17. Chapter 17

It had been almost three weeks since Harry and the guys had to go back to England and I was completely miserable. We had talked everyday, calls, text, and skype but all together it was really hard and really straining things. I was left to deal with Ethan all on my own, he was with Mary right now and the house was completely silent. I had cleaned it from top to bottom to try and get my anxiety out but with her being gone it was easier said then done.   
I had been sitting in front of my laptop waiting for Harry to get online. He was almost an hour late to our skype date so I figured he had just got caught up in the studio.   
I opened the folder full of pictures I have of Harry and I. Looking at them always made me extremely happy again. Every once in a while, when we would get bored, we would take out the laptop and take silly webcam pictures. They always make me laugh. I started grazing through them, smiling at one of the two of us imitating Zayn’s pouty face, which to say he was quick well at. The next one, we sat back, laughing, then our smiles faded, Harry looked at me, and I had looked back at him, two more pictures of us came as we slowly got closer, the next one, his lips were barely touching mine, the next, we were pressed together. His hand found my neck, mine found his cheek. Two more pictures of us in the kiss before we were disconnected. Next, he rested his forehead on mine. He kissed me again, slowly leaning over me, pushing me onto the bed and out of the pictures. The next, I could barely see his shoulder, and then I couldn’t see either of us at all. There were a few pictures of the wall, then a few pictures of Harry’s hand reaching up to close the laptop, stopping the pictures. I sat back onto the headboard, smiling. I remember that night very clearly.   
I snapped back into reality when my computer began to ring from Harry’s skype call.   
“Hey babe!” He smiled while repositioning himself in his bunk.  
“Hi.”  
“You know you don’t look very happy to see him.”  
“I am, I’m just lonely. Mary is with Ethan today, and you’re in… where are you?”  
“Uh were on the bus.”  
“Yeah but what city are you in?”  
“That is a good question.” He looked around like his bunk was going to give him the answer. “Hey Paul where are we?!” He shouted out of his curtain. Paul mumbled back an answer that I couldn’t make out. “Were in Brentswood, but just passing through. On our way back to London.”   
“Okay.”  
“Hey I left something for you in the bathroom. Why don’t you go get it.”  
“Is this a joke?”  
He just chuckled, “No, seriously it’s taped to the inside of the toilet tank. Figured I’d wait til you cleaned and found it, or when you looked really down like right now. So go get it. I’ll call you in a little bit.”  
He was unbelievable. Who hides something on the inside on the toilet tank? I closed my laptop and started toward the bathroom. I lifted off the toilet lid and flipped it over. Inside was a little blue envelope, just like he had said taped to the inside of the lid. I gently tore open the top of the envelope to reveal a hand written letter.  
Sam,   
First I want to say that i’m sorry this letter has to be here at all, cause obviously it means i’m off on tour somewhere. I want you to know that we get along in every way, balance each other well, and love each other very much. I love you very much.   
There has never been any big fight or one big issue. And without question there are so many times where I look around and know there is no one I would rather be with.  
I also love Mary very much, and I know that today she was really crabby and with me being gone she probably will be even more, I am pretty easy to miss. But she’s probably anxious because you’re obviously unhappy, I’m gone and work, and Ethan (hard for me to even write his name to be honest.) . You’re working like crazy at your job and at home. I love you for that. I’ll be home soon I promise.  
Love you,   
Harry  
I shook my head and left the letter on the counter. I headed back to my bedroom and my phone began to ring. I reached for it quickly and answered it.   
“I’m adorable right?” His husky voice filled my ear.  
“I love you, thank you. I really needed that. I really did.”  
“I knew you would. Now go pick up Mary, I know you’re missing her like crazy. I know because I am too.”  
We said our goodbyes and I went to grab my shoes and jacket. I thought about Harrys note and went to get it. I ran back to the bedroom, stuck it on the top shelf of my closet, gathered my things and left.   
88  
It was three days since Harry’s note and I was sitting on the couch laying down with Mary watching some random cartoon. She had just drifted off so I figured it would be a good time to start picking up the apartment. My phone rang and I practically dove to the end of the couch to grab it before the rington awoke Mary.  
“Hello?” I whispered into the phone while making my way to the deck to not disturb Mary.  
“Hey Sam it’s Liam.”  
“Oh hey, whats up?” Liam didn’t normally call unless he wanted to talk about something. We talked quite a lot when Harry was here and the boys would come with him. Don’t get me wrong it was never a dull moment and I loved me and Liams conversations.  
“I wanted to talk to you about something, kinda needed your advice?”  
“Is this something you can’t get advice from the other boys about?”  
“Well I could, but I just feel like I need a girls perspective.”  
“And Dani isn’t avaliable?”   
“Well that’s the things, it’s about Danielle so I can’t really ask her about it.”  
“Okay, go on?” He seemed pretty serious and it was about Danielle and Liam was always very sensative about their relationship.  
“I think, well… I think…”  
“You’re not thinking of breaking up with her are you?”  
“No, of course not! I’m thinking of perposing.”   
“What! Really!” I had actually shouted into the phone. “That’s great, I mean you guys are perfect.”  
“Thank you Sam, I do too. But I wanted to hear that, I wanted to know that these thoughts i’m having weren’t crazy.”  
“I don’t think you’re crazy at all. I think it’s amazing, do you need me for anything?”  
“Well i’m going to bring her out with us when Harry comes back to the states. I was thinking I could put something together, you could help me to make a big gesture, she loves them.”  
“Liam, i’ll help in any way but i’m not really a big gesture girl so you’ll have to come up with all of that on your own.”  
“I’ll start some planning, thank you. I’m going to go talk to the boys now. Bye love!”  
“Bye Li!”   
Liam and Danielle getting married, that was amazing. They were perfect. I wouldn’t lie I wanted to have something like they had. But I was kind of in a different boat then them. I already had a baby, and a partial custody battle, and a pop star boyfriend. It wasn’t as picture perfect as I wanted it to be.   
Mary had fallen asleep on the couch and it was her nap time, so I scooped her up and carried her to her crib. Right when I was walking out of her room my cell buzzed in my pocket.   
It’s about nap time right, kiss Mary for me before you put her down. Love you! xx -H


	18. Chapter 18

It had been almost three weeks since Harry and the guys had to go back to England and I was completely miserable. We had talked everyday, calls, text, and skype but all together it was really hard and really straining things. I was left to deal with Ethan all on my own, he was with Mary right now and the house was completely silent. I had cleaned it from top to bottom to try and get my anxiety out but with her being gone it was easier said then done.   
I had been sitting in front of my laptop waiting for Harry to get online. He was almost an hour late to our skype date so I figured he had just got caught up in the studio.   
I opened the folder full of pictures I have of Harry and I. Looking at them always made me extremely happy again. Every once in a while, when we would get bored, we would take out the laptop and take silly webcam pictures. They always make me laugh. I started grazing through them, smiling at one of the two of us imitating Zayn’s pouty face, which to say he was quick well at. The next one, we sat back, laughing, then our smiles faded, Harry looked at me, and I had looked back at him, two more pictures of us came as we slowly got closer, the next one, his lips were barely touching mine, the next, we were pressed together. His hand found my neck, mine found his cheek. Two more pictures of us in the kiss before we were disconnected. Next, he rested his forehead on mine. He kissed me again, slowly leaning over me, pushing me onto the bed and out of the pictures. The next, I could barely see his shoulder, and then I couldn’t see either of us at all. There were a few pictures of the wall, then a few pictures of Harry’s hand reaching up to close the laptop, stopping the pictures. I sat back onto the headboard, smiling. I remember that night very clearly.   
I snapped back into reality when my computer began to ring from Harry’s skype call.   
“Hey babe!” He smiled while repositioning himself in his bunk.  
“Hi.”  
“You know you don’t look very happy to see him.”  
“I am, I’m just lonely. Mary is with Ethan today, and you’re in… where are you?”  
“Uh were on the bus.”  
“Yeah but what city are you in?”  
“That is a good question.” He looked around like his bunk was going to give him the answer. “Hey Paul where are we?!” He shouted out of his curtain. Paul mumbled back an answer that I couldn’t make out. “Were in Brentswood, but just passing through. On our way back to London.”   
“Okay.”  
“Hey I left something for you in the bathroom. Why don’t you go get it.”  
“Is this a joke?”  
He just chuckled, “No, seriously it’s taped to the inside of the toilet tank. Figured I’d wait til you cleaned and found it, or when you looked really down like right now. So go get it. I’ll call you in a little bit.”  
He was unbelievable. Who hides something on the inside on the toilet tank? I closed my laptop and started toward the bathroom. I lifted off the toilet lid and flipped it over. Inside was a little blue envelope, just like he had said taped to the inside of the lid. I gently tore open the top of the envelope to reveal a hand written letter.  
Sam,   
First I want to say that i’m sorry this letter has to be here at all, cause obviously it means i’m off on tour somewhere. I want you to know that we get along in every way, balance each other well, and love each other very much. I love you very much.   
There has never been any big fight or one big issue. And without question there are so many times where I look around and know there is no one I would rather be with.  
I also love Mary very much, and I know that today she was really crabby and with me being gone she probably will be even more, I am pretty easy to miss. But she’s probably anxious because you’re obviously unhappy, I’m gone and work, and Ethan (hard for me to even write his name to be honest.) . You’re working like crazy at your job and at home. I love you for that. I’ll be home soon I promise.  
Love you,   
Harry  
I shook my head and left the letter on the counter. I headed back to my bedroom and my phone began to ring. I reached for it quickly and answered it.   
“I’m adorable right?” His husky voice filled my ear.  
“I love you, thank you. I really needed that. I really did.”  
“I knew you would. Now go pick up Mary, I know you’re missing her like crazy. I know because I am too.”  
We said our goodbyes and I went to grab my shoes and jacket. I thought about Harrys note and went to get it. I ran back to the bedroom, stuck it on the top shelf of my closet, gathered my things and left.   
88  
It was three days since Harry’s note and I was sitting on the couch laying down with Mary watching some random cartoon. She had just drifted off so I figured it would be a good time to start picking up the apartment. My phone rang and I practically dove to the end of the couch to grab it before the rington awoke Mary.  
“Hello?” I whispered into the phone while making my way to the deck to not disturb Mary.  
“Hey Sam it’s Liam.”  
“Oh hey, whats up?” Liam didn’t normally call unless he wanted to talk about something. We talked quite a lot when Harry was here and the boys would come with him. Don’t get me wrong it was never a dull moment and I loved me and Liams conversations.  
“I wanted to talk to you about something, kinda needed your advice?”  
“Is this something you can’t get advice from the other boys about?”  
“Well I could, but I just feel like I need a girls perspective.”  
“And Dani isn’t avaliable?”   
“Well that’s the things, it’s about Danielle so I can’t really ask her about it.”  
“Okay, go on?” He seemed pretty serious and it was about Danielle and Liam was always very sensative about their relationship.  
“I think, well… I think…”  
“You’re not thinking of breaking up with her are you?”  
“No, of course not! I’m thinking of perposing.”   
“What! Really!” I had actually shouted into the phone. “That’s great, I mean you guys are perfect.”  
“Thank you Sam, I do too. But I wanted to hear that, I wanted to know that these thoughts i’m having weren’t crazy.”  
“I don’t think you’re crazy at all. I think it’s amazing, do you need me for anything?”  
“Well i’m going to bring her out with us when Harry comes back to the states. I was thinking I could put something together, you could help me to make a big gesture, she loves them.”  
“Liam, i’ll help in any way but i’m not really a big gesture girl so you’ll have to come up with all of that on your own.”  
“I’ll start some planning, thank you. I’m going to go talk to the boys now. Bye love!”  
“Bye Li!”   
Liam and Danielle getting married, that was amazing. They were perfect. I wouldn’t lie I wanted to have something like they had. But I was kind of in a different boat then them. I already had a baby, and a partial custody battle, and a pop star boyfriend. It wasn’t as picture perfect as I wanted it to be.   
Mary had fallen asleep on the couch and it was her nap time, so I scooped her up and carried her to her crib. Right when I was walking out of her room my cell buzzed in my pocket.   
It’s about nap time right, kiss Mary for me before you put her down. Love you! xx -H


	19. Chapter 19

It’s been a almost two months since I’ve seen Harry. Two months since I felt his touch, two months since I smelt his fresh cologne, two months since he’d pryed Mary out of my sleepy arms to put her to bed just before crawling onto the couch and cuddling up with me. Two months.  
I had called my mom when I woke up to see if she wanted to spend the day with Mary, I wanted to be able to pick the boys up from the airport without Mary being thrown into all of the cameras of the paperazzi. She agreed with a winning smile and left no time packing her all up and heading out the door. Leaving me with a dirty apartment and a head full of thoughts.   
Two hours until the boys plane landed, which left me time to shower, get the mail, slightly pick up the mess from Marys playtime, and head out the door. I was extremely nervous to meet up with everyone at the airport. I wasn’t sure how being a mother, girlfriend, and a host all at once was going to work out for me. Regardless I dressed in a pair of black jean shorts and a yellow top that hung off my shoulder.  
I sat restless at the airport just outside of the airport starbucks. I wasn’t a coffee drinker so I was sipping on some ice water. I could see a crowd of people moving towards the gates I was sitting closest to and I knew that the boys plane had landed. I stood, although I couldn’t see past the crowd of people so it was just as pointless.   
“Excuse me? Is your name Sam?” The girl looked to be abour 11 with short blond hair, and chubby cheeks.  
“Yes, my name is Sam. Yours?”  
“Angela. I’m a big fan of the boys, and I just wanted to know if you and Harry were dating, although I know it’s none of my business.”  
“Um, yeah. We are.” I slightly stammered, I wasn’t sure if this was soon to become a headline or not.  
“Well I think that is great. You both look really happy, and you’re both adorable. Thats it. Bye.” She smiled shyly and then walked off. Was it that easy, that a little girl could just look at us and see something so strong?  
I could see the group appear out of the crowd. Liam walking with Danielle and Louis walking hand in hand with Eleanor. Behind them was the rest of the boys. Zayn with his hair pulled into a beanie, a pair of faded blue jeans and a simple black shirt. Paul and Preston were behind Zayn holding a bunch of suitcases. And last but not least Harry and Niall. Niall was propped up onto Harrys shoulders and Harry was trying his hardest to walk and balance Niall all at the same time. Niall had on a white wife beater and a blue snapback, while Harry had on a grey snug fit t-shirt, with black jeans and his adorable converse. His hair was ruffled from the plane ride but it looked just as perfect as always.   
When Harry finally looked up at me I felt those same butterflies fluttering in my stomach, the same ones i’ve been getting since I was sixteen. The same ones I got the day we were shoved back together, the butterflies I get when Harry lays on the living room floor and plays with Mary.  
Harry practically threw Niall off of his back. He hit with a thump and in Harrys attend to jog towards me, Niall grabbed his ankle in retaliation. Harry fell face first into the cold airport floor right in front of a already fallen Niall. The whole group bursted into laughter as I made my way over to the fallen boys.   
“Two months and you’re laughing at me?” Harry smirked pulling himself from the floor.  
“Two months without entertainment remember?” Being with Mary was great but the lack of adult interactment was killing me.  
“Come here. I’ve missed you.” Harry pulled me into his chest, everything I had been waiting for was back, his touch, his scent, his-  
I felt my hips being dragged out of Harrys grasp, and forced into a crowd of people.   
“Don’t try and pretend you love him! You and your baby need to pick a new popstar to pull into your little game!”   
“We can see your celulite!”  
“Maybe you should of gone to the gym before you showed up at the airport fatass!”   
Out of nowhere there were so many profanities and assumptions being shouted at me, I had almost forgot where I was. My hair had been pulled and my shirt had been ripped. When I felt a hand grab my wrist I instinctively tried to whip it away, but they just tugged harder it was Paul and he was pulling me out of the airport towards a row of cars. I was thrown into one with the door slamming in my face.  
I was using all of my self control to hold in the tears I was forcing back. I was doing a pretty good job of it too until the door to the car opened and Harry jumped in.   
“Sam, i’m so sorry. Are you okay, did they hurt you?”  
How do I admit that I just got attacked by a bunch of 16 year old girls? That I had a bunch of hair pulled out and my shirt practically in shreds. “I’m fine.”  
“You’re not fine, your crying and your shirt is ripped and- Jesus Christ Sam you’re bleeding!”   
Bleeding! How has I missed that I was actually fucking bleeding!?  
Harrys hand quickly traced to my knee wiping off a decent amount of blood with his jacket.   
“Harry it’s a scrap on my knee, it’s okay. I’ll be fine.”   
“No you won’t be. They ruined everything.”  
“Like what? Your grand entrance?” I tried to make a joke of the whole situation, he wasn’t having it though.   
“What do you need?”  
“I need you to stop worrying and kiss me. It’s been two months.” He didn’t take any time before he sent his lips crashing into mine. My thoughts of the events that just took place seemed to slip away. That is until the front door to the car swung open.   
“Alright Sam lets have your address, we’ll take you two home. The rest of the boys have decided to go straight to the hotel to get everything straightened out.”  
I gave Paul the address and we all drove in silence. Trying not to speak of what had happened would make it go away. At least thats what I was going to tell myself. Paul dropped us off at the front steps and left to go back to the rest of the boys.   
Mrs. Walker who lived below me stopped and asked if I could get her her mail.   
“Of course, Harry why don’t you take your stuff upstairs and i’ll be there in a minute.” He kissed me on the cheek and started heaving his suitcases up the stairs. I walked back out of the complex and retrieved Mrs. Walkers mail. She thanked me for my help and we chatted for a few minutes until I realized Harry was probably wondering what was taking me so long. I dismissed myself from Mrs. Walker and made my way back upstairs.  
Harry was leaning on the back of the couch when I walked in, “I ran you a bath, thought you might want to rest.”  
“You were just on a plane for 10 hours and you’re running me a bath?”  
“Yes, now get in there before it gets cold.” He smiled and walked off to the bedroom, probably to start putting his stuff away.  
I was lying in the bath with the bubbles just covering my breasts and the warmth of the water relaxing just right. There was a light tap on the door before Harry came into the bathroom.

“Want me to scrub your back?” he asked with a smirk.   
I opened my eyes slightly with a gentle smile on my face   
“Yes please.” I whispered.   
Harry took off his shirt to make sure no water would go onto him and got down on his knees. He scooped up a little bit of the bubbles and set it on your nose with a slight chuckle.  
“Hey!” I said as I gathered some bubbles up and blew them into his face “You are here to serve me not play with the bubbles.” I joked.   
“Yes ma’am” he replied.   
“That’s more like it” I said with a smirk.  
I leant forward to reach the sponge and passed it to him. He dunked it into the water while his eyes wondered from the back of my neck down to where the water covered my chest. He squeezed the water on me getting a slight moan of pleasure in response. He lightly scrubbed my back and after he finished a section Harry gave a gentle kiss on my shoulders.   
“Your back is clean, need help with the front?”  
“Babe I think you’re getting ahead of yourself.”   
“It’s been two months, babe. I’m going quite slow if I say so myself.” He said before leaning in for one last kiss.


	20. Chapter 20

“If I have to sew another button I might scream.” I have been putting together outfits all day, i’ve poked myself repeatidly and was getting really sick of working all together. Jennifer had let me take my work home with me because Mary had a cold and I didn’t want to leave her home all alone with Harry.   
“Well maybe you should stop working for two seconds.” Harry smirked. He just had come from Marys room where she had been forcefully layed down for her nap.   
“How much did she fight about it?”   
“I’ve never seen her so made for her nap before. But i’m brilliant, so she’s asleep.”  
“Well i’m going to start picking up the house, i’ve been slacking ever since you got home.” I heard him stand up and start helping me clean. When we were all done, we just stood in the kitchen, looking around. We had washed the dishes, wiped the counters and the table, threw away trash, and swept. We had no other distractions.   
“How about a movie?”   
“Yeah, sounds great.” Before we could even leave the kitchen to look for a movie the front door swung open and the whole group filled the entryway of the house.   
“PARRRTTYY TIME!” Louis screamed.  
“Louis the baby is asleep!” Harry hissed quietly playfully punching Louis in the arm.   
“Damn sorry, anyways do you guys want to go out tonight?”   
“We were actually just about to start a movie.” I spoke before closing the door so they could all get inside.  
“Well don’t you and the girls can all get married, Harry can call your mom to watch Mary and then we can go have some fun.” Before I could disagree the girls were pulling me towards my bedroom.   
Danielle and I had become a lot closer recently. She has told me a lot of things the fans have said about her. I actually really admired her, she stood strong and brushed all of that shit off her shoulders. I guess once you’ve heard it before, it’s old news. We sat crossed- legged on my bed while the other girls stood in front of the mirror applying make-up.  
“So everything has been going fine, with you and Harry. I mean it’s nice to have him back?”  
“Yeah, it’s great. It was really lonely the past few months.”  
“I seen the press was having a pretty big field day with the news of your guys being a couple.” Danielle pressed towards the subject I had been trying to avoid since it had all started.   
“I don’t blame them, it’s a juicy story. I mean, biggest pop star in the world dates teenage mother.”  
“Don’t think that way Sam, you’re an amazing person, you deserve to be happy and if you’re happy with Harry then screw the press, it just takes time. Everything that happened the other day with the paps you just have to try and let it go, not entirely but just enough to make things okay.” 

Danielle was right. I needed to let everything pass for at least a night, just be free and have some fun. It was something I really needed and I was beyond excited.  
88  
The bass was roaring through the small club, with the floor practically shaking. I had already had quite a lot to drink and I was sure I was only standing on my own two feet because I was standing inbetween the three other girls. I was starting to feel rather sick to my stomach and decided it was time to sit a dance out. I made my way back to the VIP booth and scooted myself in, Liam came up and squeezed in next to me.   
“Hey babe, having fun?” Liams eyes didn’t meet mine but instead moved across the dance floor to his dancing girlfriend.  
“Yeah, it’s nice to finally be out. Have you seen Harry?” I was also scanning the crowd but my vision was blurred and I couldn’t exactly make out faces.   
“He was over by the DJ when I seen him last, he was with Niall and Zayn.” After a few glasses of water I started to feel better and my vision started to come back to me, just in time to see something I never wanted to see.  
My heart started to race in a panic, and I shook Liam’s arm to make him move out of the booth. He looked at me, an expression of confusion quickly was replaced of one of understanding. Through the crowd I could see Harry standing nose to nose with Ethan, both of them red in the face and yelling. I wobled my way over the the escalating fight.  
“What is going on!?”  
“Nothing, Sam step back!” Harrys voice bellowed over the music at me.   
“You need to get your boyfriend out of my face before he does something he regrets.” Ethans voice was like a slap in the face.   
“Harry, lets go.” I slightly tugged on Harry bicep trying to get him to follow me away.   
“That’s right, follow the dead-beat..” Before Ethan could finish his sentance Harrys fist struck his right cheek and they both went into a full on rampage. In a club this size it everything started to get smaller and smaller and the crowd of people became bigger and bigger. Zayn and Niall soon appeared at my side before seeing who was fighting and pulling Harry off of Ethan, who layed on the floor for a second then grabbing his ribs and walking away.  
Harry looked at me with full concern. “Did you get hurt?” He touched my hand, I whipped it away and started my way to the entrance of the club. “Sam where are you going?” I could feel him following behind me through the crowd.  
“Depends on how far away I can get from you.” I said coldly before pressing open the front doors of the club and walking out into the night air.   
“Are you pissed at me! I just defended you!” Harry was yelling, probably from the alchole.   
“Don’t yell at me Harry. You did this not me, you don’t fucking think before you do things do you!” It wasn’t a question that I actually needed the answer to. “Do you understand that what you just did can jepordize the parental contract I have! He can use this against me to get Mary! It’s like you don’t even care.” My last word was a whisper as the tears started to roll down my face.   
“Of course I care Sam.” I didn’t know how much of this conversation I could handle. I turned and began to walk away. It was dark cold night. The breeze, traveling around the empty dull streets. The lamp poles were flickering a bit. I could hear Harrys footsteps behind me. I stepped lightly on my left foot and turned around towards him.  
“What are you doing?”   
“You may not be talking to me, but I don’t want you walking out here by yourself.”   
I was almost completely sober by the time I made it back to my apartment, Harry still trailing behind me. I made my way to the bathroom, and washed my face. I looked terrible, worn out, and tired. What started out as such a beautiful day ended in disaster. I made my way back to the living room, which I found was empty. I turned around and Harry almost slammed into me. I got on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck. We began to kiss a little, and soon things were getting intense. Our body’s were moving in the same rhythm, like the waves if the ocean, always in sync.  
“Harry..” I managed to tremble out before he cut me off.  
“Shh Don’t. say. Anything. Just enjoy it.” He let out a chuckle before lifting me up, bringing us both away from the couch and started walking quickly towards the bedroom, despite how trembly his legs were. I let out a small squeak, my legs wrapping around his waist, my hands gripped to his shoulders, not wanting to fall off.  
“Shh Don’t. say. Anything. Just enjoy it” He let out a chuckle before lifting me up, bringing us both away from the couch and started walking quickly towards the bedroom, despite how trembly his legs were. I let out a small squeak, my legs wrapping around his waist, my hands gripped to his shoulders, not wanting to fall off. Whimpers left my mouth with the urgency we were kissing with, it was all teeth and tongue. It was messy but wonderful.  
He slid down my torso; planting kisses on every inch as he made his way to my aching center. His hair tickled me, how was it possible that I was so furious with this boy not ten minutes ago, and now I was pulled right into his charm?  
Chapter 20  
After me and Harrys fight it had started to distance himself from me. We would still do things together, hang out and watch movies but everytime we would be alone I would catch him just thinking. Tonight was one of those days, we were sitting in two seperate lawn chairs on the deck watching the sunset. I had come home from work with Mary already down for bed and Harry just sitting outside by himself, quietly I sat down in the chair opposite of him. He didn’t talk just smiled and went back to looking.  
“What are you thinking about?” I practically whispered to him.   
“Liam and Danielle.”   
“What about them?” We hadn’t talked for days and he was deciding on talking about Liam?  
“Don’t you think thats a huge step for them? I mean getting married, even though its Liam it’s hard to think he would take that step first, ya know?”  
I didn’t know. Everyone always talked about Liam getting married first. I have been working with him for two weeks. Everyday he called me for opinions as if it was my wedding, and he hadn’t even proposed yet.   
“Have you told him that?”  
“No, he deserves to be happy.”   
That was it. I didn’t have a response so I just went back to watching the sunset. After a few minutes I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. It was Liam:  
‘I don’t think i’m going to do it.’   
‘Propose?! Why not!’  
‘I don’t think it’s for me. Well I do, but she’s going to be here five years from now why rush?’  
‘Isn’t that the whole point though?’  
‘If Harry asked you to marry him right now, would you actually do it?’  
Of course I would. I would love to be married. I wanted to have it all and I wanted to have it all with Harry.  
‘Yes.’  
‘Well maybe luck is more in your favor. :) xxx’  
‘Goodnight Li! xx’  
I tucked my phone away, stood up, grabbed Harrys hand and walked off to bed.  
The next morning I awoke to an empty bed there was a note taped to my side lamp.   
Sam,   
Took Mary to the babysitter, had to go meet with the boys for some promo. Be home later. xx   
Love H  
It was literally my only day off all week and the boys had promo, just my luck. I decided to call Danielle so I wasn’t alone all day. She agreed to hang out and I offered to pick her up outside the hotel and we would do some shopping together.   
We were walking around pretty aimlessly. We hadn’t bought anything. We were just about to stop and eat when we spotted a little magazine stand and decided to pick up the new cosmos. Danielle was reading an article to be which I was laughing at until I seen it.   
“Harry Styles brings mystery girl back to hotel room!” The headline stuck out like a sore thumb. Right on the front was Harry walking in the back doors of a hotel with a blond trailing closly behind him. It didn’t show them kissing, not even touching. It could of been anything.   
“Don’t jump straight to conclusions.” Danielle had walked up next to me after she noticed I wasn’t paying any attention to what she was saying.

“What happened to ‘His Love and child’ is he cheating or did the pressure of being a parent compare to too much for young Styles” I read the article, read it again, and then bought the whole magizine. The attendant looked at me in complete comfusion, underneath the headline picture was a picture of me Harry and Mary from our trip to the zoo last week.   
I hadn’t even made it out of the mall before my tears started to fall. Danielle rubbed my arm and tried to calm me down. I wasn’t hysterical and I wasn’t exactly sobbing but I was internally distraught.   
When we pulled up to the hotel, we pushed through some fans, all while staring at my feet. It would just add fuel to the fire if they had seen me crying too. Most of them were great but just like the ones from the airport some of them were really nasty. When we made it to the boys floor Paul met us at the elevators and walked us down to the room where all of the boys were. Harry was sitting next to Niall at a small table by the windows, they were holding a conversation but from where I was it didn’t seem like it was as important as what I had to say.  
He looked up and smiled when he seen me but it quickly faded when I didn’t respond back.   
“You okay love?” No I wasn’t okay. And he knew it.   
I dropped the magazine on the table in front of him and Niall. “I want you to explain this to me.” He just stared at it. “I want the truth.”   
“You know I think it’s time for my interview.” Niall was obviously very uncomfortable. He stalked off towards the rest of the boys to avoid waht was happening. I sat down where Niall once sat. Harry still hadn’t looked up from the magizine. Why wasn’t he denying the article?   
When he finally spoke it wasn’t the same. “Can we go somewhere else to talk about this?”   
“No, if the whole world can know about it why can’t your best friends?”   
“Nothing happened.” Until he said that I hadn’t noticed that I was holding my breath.   
“Then who is she?”   
“I met her at a bar. We hit it off, I was drunk but she was good company.” Good company? Was he intentionally trying to play games with me?  
“And…”   
“And I brought her back to the hotel. But then nothing happened I left her in my room. I went to Louis room cause I didn’t know how to ask her to leave once she was already there.”  
Fresh tears started falling down my face now but I didn’t bother to wipe them away knowing more would come. This wasn’t suppose to happen to us. None of this was suppose to be happening.   
“So you brought her back to sleep with her?” His eyes finally met mine. “But you chickened out?”   
“Yes, but I hadn’t seen you in months. And I stopped myself. Nothing happened I promise.”   
“Okay, i’ll see you at home.” I started to walk away. He hadn’t cheated but the thought that he might of hurt just as much. I was exactly what the press was saying about me. I was just another girl in the world of Harry Styles, baby or no baby.


	21. Chapter 21

“You don’t step into love you fall in.” -Valentines Day  
Harrys POV  
In the course of my life, I have won the hearts of many women, but I have only given my heart to one. There was none other than the touch of her. Sometimes even when I was with someone else I would think of her. After I left for the X-Factor I actually got caught saying her name when I was with another girl. I just wish I could only explain how much I had truly cared about her before I left.   
She was my best friend. Hell, this story is the oldest tale in the book: a stupid little boy in love with his best friend. I loved her, but of course, I never let her know. I did, once, before I left. She looked me dead in the eyes and then pretended not to hear me, because of that I was scared.  
I made love to her before I left on tour. I planned to. But if I could plan everything I would of made love to her every minute of everyday. I just loved her too much not to. I wiped away your tears as I filled her that night. I could see the hurt in her eyes knowing that I was leaving for months the next morning. I wouldn’t of had anything else in the whole world then to just stay there with her. That night, I was miserable, just missing her. Taking in the moonlit bar. I wanted to be with her.  
Sam had been everything to me. She had never done me wrong, and although she had broken my heart numerous times she never actaully knew she had done it. When she dated Ethan the first time. I hated that she was his and not mine. She broke my heart when she came back on tour with us, having her there and not with me every second. Again when I found out that Ethan was Marys father. It had stuck me that maybe, just maybe she could of been mine. It would tie me and Sam together forever. I was going to tie me and Sam together, forever.   
Sams POV  
They say time heals all sorts of pains. Mental pain, like when your puppy runs away and a year later it shows up on your doorstep. Physical pain, such a jumping off the roof of your garage and breaking your leg. Then the most typical type of pain, heartbreak. You sit there alone and suffer but you know that things don’t get stuck in the past.   
I had managed to make it out of the hotel without any fans asking for me to stop. A few had yelled to ask where the boys were but I had just ignored them and jogged to my car. I picked up Mary from the babysitter and silently listened to her babble in the back seat all the way home. We stopped at some parks, and went out to dinner. I was doing everything in my power to not cry. If I started to cry again there would be no turning back. When I pulled up to my apartment complex I reached for my phone to take a picture of my snuggled up daughter in the backseat. I had 49 unread texts from Harry. And 26 missed calls.   
I chose to ignore him, the last thing I had said to him was i’ll see you at home so he should be inside. I was literally praying that he was inside. I wanted nothing more than him to be there with open arms, to just hold me. I wiped away a fresh tear and scooped Mary and her diaper bag into my arms. I was ready to collaspe when I made it up the three flights of stairs physically and quite emotionally.  
I was fumbling for my keys while trying to juggle Mary and all of my stuff when the door swung open. Harry stood in front of me, his face stained with tears and his hair ruffled like he’d just rolled out of bed. He looked beautiful.   
“I can take Mary and go put her down.”  
I didn’t object my hands were full and I was still a little stunned at hearing his voice again. He gently took her out of my arms and started towards her bedroom. When he came back I was sitting on the couch with my knees to my chest. I wasn’t crying and I was fighting an internal battle with myself, lift my head and talk to him or shove my face in my hands and completely break down. I didn’t have to make the descision because Harry spoke first.  
“Love…?”  
My eyes finally met his. I actually got butterflies. This conversation could make or break our relationship and I was getting butterflies.  
“I’m so sorry I hurt you. It’s the last thing I wanted to do. I love you more than anything or anyone i’ve even met before. I would do anything for you, I would give everything up for you. I’m dedicated to you. I will always be dedicated to you, please Sam say something.”  
“Look Harry I am physically sick to my stomach just thinking about what could of happened. But it didn’t and that is what should matter.”  
My breaths were starting to rationalize.   
“You don’t have to forgive me Sam, just let me make it up to you-“  
“I forgave you the second I found out what happened.” I quietly whispered to myself.  
“You did?” He started to approch me.  
“Yes, I- I love you.”   
“I love you too. Sam. Can I.. I want too… Sam..”  
“Come here Harry.”   
He came over and sat down next to me on the couch, he wrapped his arms around my waist, rubbing circles on my sides.   
“Please don’t ever leave me Sam. I don’t know what I would do without you.”   
Chapter 21.5  
To say that dinner went smooth is a complete and utter lie. My parents did not stop fighting, my dad tried as hard as he could to confort my mom but she was not having it. She kept shooting daggers at my Father, who was sitting next to my boyfriend who was sweating through his shirt. Lux and her parents were over too and so were a few of my aunts and uncles. Why is my family so big, and why do they think bringing your boyfriend home is like a holiday? My dad excused himself to go grab more drinks and I quickly followed behind him. “Do you think you could try and be a little more friendly, I think you’re scaring him?” My dad set the glasses he was holding down and walked over to me. “Listen Mary, with everything your mom went through were just being protective. That’s what we do.” “And the reason there are 15 other people at our kitchen table…?” “Mary they love you. And if your boyfriend loves you as much as he keeps telling us, he’ll come back tomorrow, even after all of them.” He chuckled and walked back into the dining room. He was right though, they were my family, even though I was only blood related to two of them.


	22. Chapter 22

The nerves were dwelling up in my stomach. I felt nauseous… and lightheaded…and uncomfortable. It probably had to do with the big lunch I had today. I’ve been eating my tension. To think, in only a few more minutes, I will be Samantha Styles. I’ll soon be able to spend all nights with my beautiful husband. We’ll continue a family together, and live happily ever after. No mistakes. No regrets.  
Danielle did touch up on my dress, trying to maintain her balance in the heels I picked out for her bridesmaid’s outfit. It was a one shoulder, flowing dress in the same salmon pink color as my ribbon around my waist. The pumps matched with pink flowers on the toe. Lou was standing holding hands with both Lux and Mary who were a set of beautiful flower girls.  
“Okay, ladies,” my mom said peering her head around the corner of the door. She looked at me and dropped her shoulders. A smile grew across her face. “You look beautiful, honey.” I grinned back at her and looked down at the dress to make sure every bead was in place. All clear. “Alright! It’s time to start lining up! Everybody get into places!”   
I woke up with a start. Sweat literally pouring off of me. Although I was sitting upright I could still feel Harrys arm lifeless acrossed my waist.   
“Just a dream Sam.” I muttered to myself before peeling out of Harrys grip and the covers and walking out to the bathroom. I peaked into Marys room to see her still sound asleep and then crept into the shower. I stood under the hot water for the majority of the time I was in the bathroom. Just letting the water run over me. The events of the last few days were unbelieavable. But when I got up today I still had the things that I needed. My beautiful child who was nothing other than the definition of love. And Harry, who had stuck by me through, well everything.   
My thoughts drug out to last night. After I cried into Harry for what seemed like hours we simply went to bed. Although he fell asleep rather quickly I sat up wondering what everything would of been like if he would had been with that girl. Torturing my mind with events that didn’t even happen. Events he promised would never happen. I was just on my fourth or fifth senerio when Harry had started to stir in his sleep.   
I rolled over and faced him, propping myself up onto my elbow. He actually looked upset. “I’m so stupid..” He didn’t noramally talk in his sleep. I could only remember a handful of times he’d actually done it. The next day when I had told him what he had said he had a story of something he thought to himself the night before that connected with what he said in his sleep. “Sam…” Sam?!   
I leaned in closer to see if I could catch anymore of his whispers. “I’ve made up my mind…” Okay, so he has made a decision. Big deal, I get some of my greatest ideas from sleep. He began to stir again, throwing his arm over me and pulling me into his chest.   
“You’re up?” His voice was husky and I was almost sure he might of still been asleep.  
“Yeah, can’t sleep.”   
“Have you been trying?”   
“Of course not, i’m intentionally laying here to see how long I can do it.” I chuckled and nuzzled closer to him. “Of course i’ve been trying.”   
“I could think of something that could get your mind off of it.” Harry whispered into my ear, leaving small kisses along my neck and onto my jawline. “And i’m sure it will make you tired too.” When his eyes finally met mine, he didn’t look tired, it definatly wasn’t lust, he just looked happy to be here next to me. When our lips met it wasn’t with hopes that our relationship was being mended back together but with passion because we were both in love.   
I hadn’t actually realized how long I had been in the shower until I had started to hear a faint noise coming from the kitchen. I figured Harry had got up and was making breakfast. I dressed in a purple t shirt and a pair of denims that I had left in the bathroom a few days ago.   
Harry was mixing some eggs and milk in a glass bowl singing to Mary who was propped up in her high chair eating a graham cracker.   
“Mornin Mama!” Mary squeeled spitting crackers over the counter.  
“Morning baby,” I kissed her forehead before turning to Harry and lightly pecking him on the lips. “Morning babe.”   
“Do you want to start cooking these eggs? I’m going to run to the loo.”   
I took the bowl and finished what Harry had started before slowly pouring them into the sizzling pan in front of me. Mary started to coo as Harry came back into her view.   
He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.   
“You know you were talking in your sleep again?”   
“Was I? About what this time?”   
“Something about you making up your mind, and my name was in there somewhere.” I smiled down at the eggs.   
“Ah, yes I remember.”  
“Well do you want to remember outloud?”   
Harry just laughed into my neck, I could tell he was taking in the moment as was I.  
My eyebrow raised, “Harry, what’s gotten into you?”  
“Marry me.” He said. Simple, plain and out there in the open.  
He reached into the pocket of his own sweatpants, smiling. He grinned, like a maniac, and opened the box. A small, silver banded, single diamond ring - absolute perfection - glistened before me, and I couldn’t help but gasp,   
“Harry Styles, you better not be joking.”  
“I’m not.” He kneeled, “Sam, marry me. Marry me or I’ll die.”  
I looked at him, down on the kitchen floor, to the ring, and back into his green eyes,   
“My God, Harry. Of course I’ll marry you. Oh, my God. Yes!”  
And he stood, quickly, laughing happily. Harry slipped the ring on my finger, kissing me deeply at the same time. He smiled into the kiss, and I followed,   
“Hey, Sam?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I love you, Future Mrs. Styles,” That sounded even better than you imagined, “But you’re burning breakfast.”  
And sure enough, I were. I turned around and shut the burners off, breathing heavily in the light smoke.   
Harry stood back and laughed, “Asshole.” I murmured.  
“It’s not nice to call people names, Samantha Styles.”


	23. Chapter 23

“You hear that Mary, I get to be your daddy for real now!” Harry sang to Mary who quite frankly was more interested in her toys than anything Harry was saying to her.   
“Daddy, pwayyy wifff mee!”   
“I’ll only play with you if mommy goes and gets ready.”  
“What am I getting ready for?”   
“Were meeting the everyone for lunch. To announce our proposal!”  
“Are you sure? You want to jump right into this?”  
“Sam, i’ve had these reservations for almost three weeks, we have to go.”  
Wait, if he’s had these reservations for three weeks then that means he’s been planning this for a while.   
“What if I would of said no?” I wouldn’t have, but I was intrested in his response.  
“Then we would of played it off as Liam and Danielles party, like he played everything else off like he was proposing to her.”So it was all fake, Liam was never actually planning on proposing to Danielle he was trying to get information from me before Harry actually did it. “Although I don’t think I would of been able to show my face if you did.”   
I admired the view upon me. Mary was proped against the couch leaning forward trying to tear her bear from Harrys slender hands. He was tickling her sides causeing her to release her grip letting him fluff it in her face, her releasing a loud giggle. I smiled to myself before going into my room to get dressed.   
It was nice to see Harry like that, away from the fame. I had always known the real Harry but sometimes it was easy for him to get lost in himself and he would forget which side of him was the real side; the overplayed leader of the group or the laid back and calm guy I had always known him to be. He had his role in the band, as they all did, but when the cameras were away, all those who were close to him could finally enjoy the real him. The young kid who just wanted to sit and talk about anything and everything; not the guy who had girls swooning at the simple fact of him breathing. The man who had become such a big part in my life, through every possible senerio.  
After about seventeen outfit changes I settled on a nice white top and a pair of jean capris. Light on the make up and I just let my hair curl from my shower earlier. Harry had dressed Mary in a little blue dress and he had on an almost matching color t-shirt.   
When we arrived at the restraunt there was a large swarm of paps. Louis and Eleanor had arrived just as we had and Louis took no time to scoop Mary up into his arms. He had been very good to her, the perfect uncle. He propped Mary up on his hip locked hands with El and started into the front doors. For just a second the paps had turned their attention to Louis and Mary and off of me and Harry.  
Harry had taken the oppertunity to pull me into his arms and start to kiss me. Slow at first and then more impatient. Something I always loved about him. I finally parted our lips remembering where we were.   
“Harry the paps are going to get really bored with a toddler real soon.”   
“Mhmm.” He mumbled before moving down my jaw to my neck.  
“Harry, knock it off.” My voice wasn’t very convincing as I tried to push against his chest. “Babe, there are about fourty different cameras around. I know you want to be some kind of badass rebel but I don think this is something you will get away with.”  
Being out today after the events of this morning was absolutely amazing, I wanted to be able to flaunt my engagement. To my family who hadn’t had faith in the girl who got pregnant at sixteen, to the fans who always told me I wasn’t good enough, and to the paps who tried to pin everything against Harry to break up our relationship.  
“I. Don’t. Care.” He paused between each word, giving my neck a soft kiss as he did so.  
“Lets go in, i’m excited. And I can no longer see Mary and it makes me a little nervous.”   
“Alright but only because you asked so nicely.” He said before pecking my lips and intertwining his fingers in mine.   
Harry wasn’t kidding when he said he had invited everyone. Each one of the boys, their girlfriends, Paul and his wife and kids, Lou and Tom along with Lux, Harrys parents, and my parents. Both of them, sat opposite each other at the dinner table but none the less they were there. They weren’t as civil as Harrys parents who were having a conversation in the corner. Mary had been sat in a high chair, Niall who had already started to feed her.   
“Sam!” My mother exclaimed causing everyone to turn our direction. “Let me see it!” She was refering to the ring, so I released from Harrys grip to walk over to her and Anne.   
“It’s beautiful!”   
“I knew he would do a great job!”   
Eleanor and Lou came up next to me during my moms excapade of excitment, “Better thank the rest of the boys too, they all shopped for it together. It was actually really adorable.” Eleanore said with a bright smile.   
“Congradulations, Sam it’s beautiful.” Lou said before going back to Tom and Lux.  
Everybody ordered their rounds of dishes and we sat in aimless chatter about the wedding, things I didn’t have the answer too. I hadn’t decided on bridesmaids colors, or what kind of flowers I wanted, or what to put at center pieces on the tables at the reception. All I knew for certain was when I finally walked down the aisle Harry would be standing there waiting for me. And right now that was all I needed.   
“Ready for the world to know?” Harry leaned over and whispered in my ear.  
“I’m scared.. Harry..” I was cut off by his lips on mine. The kiss was gently yet passionate.  
“Everything is going to be fine, I promise.”  
“Niall will you take a picture for us?” I asked instinctivly, Niall being the closest to me. Harry leaned over and kissed my cheek as I pointed down at my ring finger smiling. We both posted to twitter with consective “She said yes!” “I said yes!” captions.   
Now that I think about it, every girl loves that whole overrated Romeo and Juliet story where he climbs onto her bedroom balcony and confesses his love for her, they hook up and then they die, or something like that. Most girls, from what I’ve heard, would die if a guy pulled any of that “forbidden love” act. Girls wanted guys who broke the rules just for them. It made them feel special and wanted; it made them feel important.   
Yet here I was falling head over heels for a guy who had just proposed to me in my too small of a kitchen while I made breakfast for him and my toddler, who wasn’t even his. And that made me feel important. Nothing else mattered, not the way my extended snobby family thought, not how management thought, and definatly not how anyone else in the world thought.   
Chapter 23.5  
I woke up on the couch in sweats and a huge tee-shirt; me and Lux had crashed on the couch after everyone left after dinner last night. It went really well, dads little speech really lifted my spirits about having my boyfriend and my family in the same room. I stood up to stretch and looked at the time. It was 11:00 but I had nothing to do today so it was alright. Lux was curled up on the loveseat acrossed from me, she was still asleep her long blond hair falling off of her pillow.   
Just then my front door opened and in walked Niall with bags of McDonalds.   
“Morning Mary! Your parents up?” He smiled, always cheerful.   
“Um, I think they had plans today so they’re probably gone.”  
“Right, thats why i’m here. I’m your babysitter!”   
“Babysitter? I’m sixteen?” My parents hired a babysitter, and Niall of all the options. I laughed myself before following him into the kitchen. “Don’t you have better things to do than be here?”  
“Not really. Plus I wanted to talk to you about your boyfriend.” Did everybody? Note to self, never bring a guy home again. “You guys remind me of your parents.”  
“I hope this leads to a compliment.” I laughed.   
“I said your parents. Not your mother and father.” Good point. “I don’t think that you’re reckless but neither were they, and you know what happened with them. Things break people down. I just want you to be safe, and boys are not safe.”   
I laughed at his answer. I wasn’t reckless I never had been, my dad kept me from that. Sheltered was what I was. It wasn’t exactly the best advice because I wasn’t five so telling me boys aren’t safe doesn’t do much now.   
“Go wake up Lux, we’re going to have this great breakfast i’ve prepared and then we’ll find something fun and teenage boy-less to do.”   
Uncle of the world here!


	24. Chapter 24

The hate came quicker than I had expected. It wasn’t that right after the picture was posted I went and looked at it, but that night when I went to bed and did a little twitter check up it was there. Because of the hectic day that we had had hiding the fact that I was a little upset.   
I was sat in Marys room rocking her in the plush chair by her nightlight. She was already asleep but Harry was in the shower and I just wanted to talk, get a few things out.  
“Mommy is very happy. You’re going to have a very good life. Everything is going to go really well, I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you, and neither will your daddy. Daddy, that is proper now. Harry was becoming a great Dad you. He does so many things for you. You don’t know it yet but he brings you little things all the time, and he sings to you. He’s perfect.”  
I was so wrapped up in my little conversation with my sleeping child I didn’t even notice Harry standing in the doorway.  
“You’re perfect.” He smiled repeating my words on him.  
“It’s not nice to listen to my private conversations.”   
“Babe I don’t think it counts if the person you’re talking to is asleep.” He was right, it was a pointless conversation but it really made me feel good, I layed Mary in her bed tucking her in, kissing her on the forehead, Harry replacing my spot next to her on the bed. He followed in my footsteps, retucking in by her sides, kissing her on the cheek and following me out of the room.   
We decided on some late night TV, Harry settled on Friends and I settled in his chest.   
“Today was amazing, thank you.”   
“Of course love, I wouldn’t of had it any other way.” He kissed my cheek just as he had done to Mary, and I nuzzled up before drifting off to sleep.   
88  
The next morning I woke to an empty couch, Harry had to of also fallen asleep here cause normally I would wake up back in the bed. I sat up looking around, the clock read 11:15 and there was a note of the coffee table.   
Baby,   
Your mom wanted to see Mary so I dropped her off and went to go get food. Be back soon! Love you x  
Just as I set the note down the front door opened.  
“Morning Baby!” Harry said walking towards me. As he leaned in for a kiss I ducked to the bags of food and ran away.  
“That wasn’t nice at all!” Harry pouted, and then followed me to the kitchen area. I took all the food out as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind,   
“I brought you food and this is what I get in return?” Harry said into my ear. I was really hungry but I caved in and turned around and looked into his eyes. I can get lost in those eyes, those big green eyes. I laid my lips on to his for a short sweet kiss,   
“Food now,” I said after pulling away. Recently I was hungry a lot. Then again I wasn’t doing a lot of eating, just a lot of playing with Mary and sitting in my thoughts of the future wedding. 

“They were done serving breakfast when I got there but I didn’t think you’d mind,” he said grabbing a burger.  
“You are right I don’t mind,” I said popping a fry into my mouth and smiling at him. He leaned forward and sweetly kissed me. I never felt happier in my life. Harry slowly inched me towards the counter and I sat on it. I tangled my fingers into his soft hair and I felt him smile into the kiss,  
“I’m so happy right now,” he said against my lips.  
“Yeah, me too,” I said softly.  
With each movement he made, I could feel his magnetic energy pulling me in a little more, and I cursed myself for falling so easily into his effortless trap. He closed the distance between the two of us and leaned forward until our noses were touching together.  
Before I could take another breath, his lips found mine. In appearance, the kiss might have seemed gentle, but I could feel beneath the steady humming of his mouth the roughness, the desire he was holding back for my own sake. He held himself up, gripping the counter on either side of me, but my fingers quickly found the back of his neck, his curls. I pulled him closer, suppressing a moan that had long since been building up inside of me.   
“Actually we can eat later, yeah?”  
“Whatever you want love.” He whispered lifting me up, me wrapping my legs around his waist instinctivly before being waltzed to the bedroom.


	25. Chapter 25

“Tell me what you love about me, Sam.”  
His voice was soft- cracked almost, as he pulled his body from underneath mine to isolate himself. I furrowed my brow, slightly taken aback by his sudden self-doubt, although I knew something had been playing on his mind this evening.  
“Don’t be ridiculous, Harry” I shot back, slightly more forcefully than I had anticipated.  
He took a deep breath, and I could see him twiddling with his thumbs anxiously in my line of sight.   
“I don’t understand why you do. You’re beautiful, clever, brave, ambitious, you’re a great mother, you’re going places…”  
“So are you” I quickly interrupted. “You’ve seen like the whold world world; experienced things I can only imaginve. I can’t think of anything braver than that.”  
“But all that seems pointless if-“ He paused for a moment as a lump emerged in his throat; the harsh gulp hitting the silent air before he spoke again through strained words.“That all seems pointless if it’s not with you.”  
“Okay but i’m not going anywhere. I promise.”  
We both lay there looking up towards the ceiling, neither knowing what to say as soft breaths travelled through the air. The way things had changed between me and Harry were unlike anything i’d ever been through before.   
“Your incredibly dry sense of humour.”  
I broke the silence, tilting my face towards Harry, who still had his eyes fixed to the ceiling. His forehead creased slightly as I watched his bewildered expression.  
“What?”  
“I love your sense of humour.”  
I smiled as I said it, thinking of the countless ridiculous things that Harry had said; even the not so witty.  
“And your abnormally large nostrils.”  
I watched his dimples sink inwards as he smiled, instinctively raising his hand to his nose and feeling them.  
“The way you laugh when you can’t handle your drink.”  
“I so can!” he protested, flashing me a grin as he turned to face me, knowing just as well as I did that he couldn’t.  
“How husky your voice is every time you wake up, and your singing in the shower.”  
“You can hear that?” he raised his eyebrows, blushing slightly.  
“The whole street can hear it, Harry” I laughed, propping my head up onto my hand to get a better view of his face. His eyes flicked back towards the ceiling; I could tell he was feeling awkward.  
“Your weird taste in music… and women.”  
He looked at me amusedly, pouting his lips and moving them side to side as his numerous weird crushes flooded his mind.   
“You fancy Ringo Star.” he smirked, defending himself. I smiled, remembering Harry’s reaction the first time I told him; how mortified he looked when I told him I fancied a man almost three times my age. But this wasn’t about me right now. This was about Harry.  
“How much you care for your friends, and your mum and sister.”  
I placed my hand on his stomach, gently moving my fingertips back and forth over his t-shirt, thinking about how truly selfless he was. I don’t think I’d ever met someone with so much empathy; I actually found it quite astounding, almost to the point of jealousy. But I couldn’t be jealous of Harry… I don’t think it’s possible to be jealous of someone that you love… just grateful that they’re in your life. Apart from maybe the fact that his hair looked better than mine did in the morning.  
I hooked my knee over his waist, bringing my body up so that I was straddling him; looking down into his vulnerable eyes.  
“I love that every time you kiss me, you kiss me as if it’s going to be the last time” I smiled.  
His palms lay outstretched either side of his body, and I took this opportunity to cradle mine within them; desperate to feel every part of him, skin on skin.  
I smirked to myself as another thought slipped into my mind; Harry’s face shifting to something somewhat nervous as my eyes lit up.  
“What?”   
“The way your face screws up and body trembles when you’re about to come…”  
Despite my amusement, I couldn’t help but feel aroused as I thought about it. It really was something quite extraordinary; that one moment when he lost all inhibitions and nothing else mattered but us; that one moment in time that was mine and mine only. He looked amazing every time, and that fact that it was memaking him feel that good was enough to make my insides burn.  
He blushed slightly, almost unable to look me in the eye.  
“Well that’s about it.” I said laughing, knowing there were so many other things I could list off of what I loved about him.   
“Lets go for a ride, yeah? Your mom is going to have Mary for the rest of the night right? We’ll follow the sunset or something.”  
“That sounds amazing Haz.”  
We had been in the car for almost an hour, literally just turning corners so the sun was in front of us the whole time. Everything about this little ride was perfect. The way we could sit in silence for so long, just going over things that had happened in the day, the last week. My head was roaming with events that needed to be done before this wedding, that he hadn’t even picked a date for.  
“What are you thinking about?” Harry could obviously see the discomfort in my face.   
“The wedding.” He just nodded at my response, waiting for me to go on. “I don’t know what I want to do, like colors or dresses, or placemats.”  
“Placemats? You actually are going to decide the placemats of the tables?”  
“Yes that is what you do. And center pieces and yeah I just don’t know.”   
“You know we don’t have to jump right into this, you can take as long as you want, if it helps you plan it out.”   
“I know.” My hands fumbling in my lap.   
I had taken my eyes off the sunset, but I could feel that Harry had, his eyes burning in the side of my head.   
“What?” I tried to hold my smile back letting out a slight giggle.  
“Me what? What about you, your getting all giggling school girl on me.”   
“I’m sorry, that’s just how you make me feel.”  
It was true. There was something about the way that Harry looked at me that made me feel like the most beautiful person in the world. It scared me to death, but at the same time it made me feel so alive. The emotions flowing within me were soaring so high that I felt myself on the brink of tears; the full realisation of how much I loved him suddenly hitting me hard. Something else also hitting me hard, it was the dashboard.  
My head was thrust forward withing seconds. Harry slamming on the breaks to avoid, well I don’t even know what he was trying to avoid. I felt the car began to roll as I let out a small cry trying to reach in Harrys direction, I had failed my eyesight overtaken by blackness.


	26. Chapter 26

Harrys POV  
“She’s going to be okay, Harry please sit down.” Louis was trying to talk me out of complete and utter panic.   
“How do you know that Louis!? How?” I shouted.  
“I- I..”  
“Exactly you don’t.” I shuffled to the seat next to Danielle who was trying to comfort the rest of the boys whom were also very upset. “This is all my fault.”  
If I hadn’t of been looking at her, if I had just of paid attention to the road. We wouldn’t of been here. She would be okay, everything would be fine. As of right now I can’t even remember how many times the car flipped.   
My eyes were blurred from the years that filled my eyes an I felt so deeply sad. I felt as if I was so sick, my mind was cramming with horrible thoughts and I couldn’t take it anymore. Everything was my fault, everything was falling to horrible pieces.   
“Harry, uh Styles?” A man in his late fourties was standing in front of the group. Instinctvely everyone got to their feet. “Are you all Harry Styles?”  
“No, um, ju- I’m Harry.” How I even processed words was beyond my own control. “How is she? Is she okay?”  
“Well you were put down under her emergency contact, does that sounds right?”  
“Yes, that sounds right.”   
“As you know Sam was brought in uncouncious, we suspected she had some internal bleeding so we brought her into surgery as soon as we could. But with every case there is good news and bad news.”   
I kept nodding my head, most of it wasn’t making any sense. Internal bleeding, unconcious, surgery. How serious was it. I managed to keep it in and let the doctor continue.  
“The good news is the bleeding was not caused by a massive internal bleeding.” He stopped looking back from me to Paul, Danielle, and Louis who were on either sides of me. “If you want we can talk about this somewhere else?”  
“No, they’re going to know whether you tell them now or I tell them later. Whats the bad news?”  
“We weren’t able to recover the baby. Technically Sam miscarried. I’m really sorry, i’ll give you a little bit and then send a nurse out to get you.”  
“A baby?” Louis slightly stammered. He was just as suprised as I was.   
“I didn’t know she was pregnant. I don’t think Sam knew she was pregnant.”   
Sams POV  
I heard a crack of thunder and my eyes suddenly popped open. I sat up quickly, my heart racing. I quickly laid back down, feeling a huge head rush. I brought my hand up to my head, I had the worst headache.   
I was lying in a hospital bed, wires literally covering up my upper torso.   
“Sam are you awake?”  
“Mom?” Immedietly my mom was by my side, rubbing my forehead. “Where’s Harry? Is he okay?”  
“He’s fine. We just sent him to go get something to eat.”  
“What happened?” I knew what happened with the accident, I remember it but why was I in the hospital?  
“Sam, sweety after the accident and you were brought here..”  
“Sam.” My mothers words were interupted by Harry standing in the doorway. “When did she wake up?”  
“Just now.” She kissed my forehead. “I’m going to go get Mary from Danielle, she can spend some time with me. You and Harry cant talk. Love you Samantha.”  
“Bye mom, love you too.”   
The distraught in Harrys face was very visable. He had been eyeing the floor since he walked in. I could feel an instant panic the second he said my name when he came in from the hall. When you love someone there are parts of them that you know like the back of your hand, and Harrys sadness was one of them. And the moment his eyes finally met mine. I knew there was something wrong.   
“Harry…”


	27. Chapter 27

“Don’t do this to yourself. You need to eat.” Harry had been protesting at me for ten minutes.  
“You know i’m not really hungry.”  
“Sam, eat seriously.” How could I eat? It’s been three days and i’ve barely even moved from the couch. Everyday i’ve got up with Harry pestered him to go to the studio and then sat on the couch til he walked in the door again at night.  
“I really don’t want to. I’m nervous.”   
The doctor had said he was going to run more tests on why I had initionally miscarried, he didn’t think that it was actually from the accident. He said something like ‘looks like this has been producing in your body for a while.’  
“Everything is going to be fine. Doctors make mistakes you know.” He stopped thinking to himself. “Do you want me to stay home today?”  
“No go, the album is almost finished and the boys need you.”  
“But if you need me more then I can stay. You know that they will understand.” I knew they would, they always did but it was really important for me to be able to start doing things for myself again. “It doesn’t matter what these test results say, we’re still getting married and were still going to be together forever.” He kissed my forehead and pulled the throw up to my chin, before grabbing his keys and wallet and walking out.   
I had managed to get myself off the couch to make myself some lunch, which in reality was just a cup o’ noodle that I cooked and stared at until it was too cold to eat anyways. My mother still had Mary so I was alone in my apartment again. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and i wasn’t expecting any company. I just figured ignore it, they’ll go away eventually.   
“Sam it’s me, open up!” I could hear Danielles perky voice from outside the door.  
I slumped over to the door unlocking and trugging lightly.   
“What are you doing here Dani?” It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to be here I just didn’t want her to be here.   
“I brought food, Harry told Liam who told me that you have been sitting on the couch doing a lot of nothing.”   
“I’m an adult Dani i’m allowed to do a lot of nothing.” I laughed to myself the first time in a while, motioning for her to sit next to me on the loveseat. “Why are you really here?”  
“He mentioned you were getting a call today about your results, so I thought it would be a good idea to be here when you did.” Just as she finished her sentance the phone began to ring.   
“Well it looks like you’re just in time then.”   
Harrys POV  
“She wants me to tell you… and frankly I don’t think she’ll be able to get a word out. I need to get straight to the point.” Danielle looked up at me, taking a deep breath. “They’ve told us her ovaries are irregular, which is why nothing is happening even though she’s already had a baby…”   
I froze.  
Danielle rubbed my arm as I starred right past her.   
“There’s a ninety-seven percent chance that she’ll never be able to have another baby.” I coughed, holding back some tears.  
“I’ve got to get back to the hotel.” I looked down at Danielle, “Remind her to breathe, really, she keeps getting choked up. Just go hold her. Don’t talk. She just needs to know you’re there.”   
“Thanks.” I whispered, my voice cracking.  
“I’ll come by tomorrow and bring you some lunch, kay?” I nodded as Danielle walked out the door back to Liam.   
I leaned against the counter, my mind racing but also still. I thought of what Danielle had said, ‘remind her to breathe, just go hold her’ and I noticed I was holding my own breath as well. I let it out, reminding myself to take another breath in.  
A picture of us from our engagement part sat on the counter, I looked at it for a while before hearing Sam cough in the living room.  
I turned the corner into the living room and saw Danielle curled up on the couch, her body was shaking and she was breathing hard. “Sam..” I tried to speak, but nothing came out. I sat down where Danielle had been, Sam not moving or acknowledging him.  
“I love you” I barely whispered, wrapping my arm around her and pulling her onto my chest. I kissed the top of her head and she finally looked up a me, a few tears falling from my own eyes.  
“I’m sorry”  
“No, you’re fine…” I began rubbing her back.  
“I’m sorry…” She repeated, sitting up and wiping her cheeks with her sleeves.   
“There’s no need to be sorry.”I tried to pull her back towards me, “We can talk tomorrow.”  
“Do you hate me?”  
“No, I would never hate you.”  
“Just say it.” She cried, “Tell me you hate me. How are we suppose to be together if we can’t even have a family?!”   
She was starting to get really upset which I was not suprised at at all.   
“Love, we have Mary. We are already a family. You don’t have to do anything for me, I love you for you with or without this.”


	28. Chapter 28

After constant pleading my mother finally decided to bring Mary back home, but even once she had showed up her voice was soft and she tried to play it off as if I was still too vonerable to have my own child. After this last weeks events there is nothing I wanted more than to have Mary back. With or without my trial on convincing she didn’t hold back.  
“What about mary though? If you’re depressed all the time how is Mary suppose to have any fun?”   
“Mom this is ridicoulas. I’m not depressed!” My voice slightly raising as my frustration built.  
“You are too, you’ve barely got off that couch in a week! You have no motivation to do anything.”  
“Well my fiance works everyday and my mother thought my child was better off with her, so I didn’t have a reason to get off the couch!”  
“What about your job?”   
“I’m on medical leave.” I didn’t want to be on medical leave but my boss thought it would be best. Everyone was telling me what they thought would be best, but what about what I thought was best.   
When you’re a kid and you dream about what your life is going to be like you don’t picture these things happening to you. You imagine falling in love with the perfect man, getting the white picket fence and having beautiful babies. I had bits and pieces of that. I had a beautiful daughter and a man who loved me. And a holy terror for a mother.  
“Sam are you listening to me at all?”  
“Of course i’m listening, i’m just not doing a lot of caring.”  
She was shocked at my response, just turning away from me. “Okay well then I guess i’ll just go home. Since you obviously don’t need me anymore.”   
“Mom you know thats not what I mean.”   
“Samantha it’s fine. I just want what is best for you.” She paused as the front door opened and Harry and Niall walked in. “And he is it. I’ll see you later this week.”   
“So your mom looks cheery today.” Harry leaned in and kissed my cheek. Watching Niall lift Mary into his arms and run into her room.   
“Still nothing from Ethan?” He asked slyly.  
“Nothing, I mean I didn’t except him to jump back the way he did but I figured he’d at least keep up his side of his own deal. I have almost too much going on to try and call him.”  
“Well maybe you should bring it up to the court because she deserves to be yours more than his.”   
“Ours.” I corrected before walking off to see how Niall and Mary were doing.  
88  
“He isn’t a fit father!” I shouted, pushing Mary off my lap and into Harrys and standing up. “I have been taking care of her since she was conceived! How am I not a fit mother!?”  
I looked directly at the judge as she spoke, wiping my tears away. “Okay Sam for the benefit of the courtroom i’m going to ask you a series of questions and want you to answer as honestly as possible.”  
“Okay.” I replied sitting back down.  
“How long were you and Ethan together?”   
“Um, like five months and then we broke up.”   
“And was it during this time that you both concieved Mary?”   
“No. We met up like six months later at a party.”  
“What if you have another child and then not all of your time is on Mary?”  
“I-I can’t have anymore children actually.” I whispered the last part my eyes glancing from Harry and then to Ethan and back to the judge.  
“What if something serious happens to you, you were recently in a car accident right”  
“Right. My mother is my beneficuary right now, but i’m getting married and he’s more of a father towards Mary than Ethan ever was.” my eyes on the judge the whole time.  
“Where you in love with Ethan at the time?”  
It was kind of an odd question for the situation I silently thought to myself, “No, I wasn’t. Our relationship didn’t end very well and we shouldn’t of even been together the second time if i’m honest.”  
“Did you believe Ethan to be in love with you at the time your child was concieved?”  
This question I didn’t even have to think about. “No.” I answered short and sternly.  
Chapter 28.5  
“Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing…”   
― Elizabeth Gilbert  
It’s official, i’ve been dumped. Why is it that parents think they can just do things the way they want to do them.   
“Okay yes I snuck out, and yeah I got too drunk to make it back home, and maybe I did crash at my boyfriends but my dad seriously took it way too far.” I was in a frenzy, pacing back and forth in my room silently yelling to Lux on the other end of the phone.  
“Mary did you just hear what you just said?”   
“Whose side are you on Lux?”   
“Yours, but he’s your dad and he was just worried about you.” Lux was always right. “He did break up with you, and now the only guy left in your life is your dad again.”  
“But he wouldn’t have broken up with me if my dad had just stayed home, or lettin mom take care of it.”   
“Are you sure?”   
I wasn’t sure. I told him that I had loved him, and then passed out. That was about the extent of what I remember from last night. I awoke this morning to my dad pounding on his front door yelling like a mad man. He practically dragged me out of his house, and before we even made it back to the house I had a new text message and a broken heart.   
“I have to go Lux, I hear someone STANDING OUTSIDE OF MY BEDROOM DOOR.” I knew it was my dad, and I knew he could hear me.   
With my little outburst my door pushed open, my dad standing with one hand in his front pocket and the other rumaging through his hair. I could see the sheer concern on his face, his very faith worry lines, lack of sleep in his eyes.   
“Lets talk about it.”  
“Lets not and say we did.” I spat back, waiting for his reply. Instead he walked to the edge of my bed and say next to me.  
“I’m still your dad, and you still have to listen to me. What you did was wrong you shouldn’t of snuck out, you shouldn’t be drinking and you definatly shouldn’t of stayed at your boyfriends house. Me and you mom are very disappointed in you.” I silently nodded my head waiting for the yelling. “But I trust you. And I want you to tell me about the text you got.”   
Just like that I was no longer angry, for him it was all about my well-being and although I broke every rule last night he was more concerned with the fact that I was soon to be heartbroken.   
Family is the strongest bond.


	29. Chapter 29

“I’m too drained to move.” I shifted slightly in Harrys embrace, we hadn’t got out of bed yet but I was sure that Mary was awake playing in her room.   
“I know baby, I can go get her if you want?”  
“Okay, but I still have to get up huh?”  
“Yeah, doctors today.” He just barely whispered against my chin.  
“Court last week, doctors again this week. The holidays are starting soon and then you’re going on tour. When is this suppose to get easier?”   
It was a rhetorical questions and I knew he didn’t have the answer, but none the less I saw his eyebrows furrow while he thought about an appropiate answer, something he always did.   
“So what do they do today?”   
“Ultrasound I guess, make sure the medicine worked properly and it’s all, all gone.” I didn’t like the feeling of calling it an it but we never did get to know what it would of been.   
“Well then we should certainly get Mary up and get going.” He kissed my nose and rolled over me, exasperating a giggle from me.   
88  
“Are you nervous?”   
“Not really..” Nervous couldn’t even compare to the feeling I was having right now. Right when everything started to fall in place it was torn to pieces, I really just wanted everything to be over with and I was really hopeing this was going to be the end of any doctor visits for a while.  
An entire millennia of life and a second to destroy it. It was laughable really. Not that I felt like laughing. I felt sick as the cold tore its way on my stomach. Mary slightly squirming in Harrys arms.I was certain my heart had relocated to my ears for how loudly it pounded. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I was just thinking about the fact that I had a perfect family with or without the baby we had lost. The cold jelly was quite uncomfortable and the nurse seemed to be rubbing a lot.   
“Is everything okay? You look a little out of place?” The nurse really looked like she might throw up.   
“You are in here to see about the removal of excess fetus right?” Excess fetus, was it possible to make it sound any worse.  
“Uh, I-I- Yeah.” The words quickly escaped my mouth, instantly regretting my stammer.  
“I’m just going to go get the doctor if you could wait for just a minute.”   
“Ma! Ma! Ma!” Mary chanted purfusiously, attempting to jump out of Harrys arms and onto the hospital bed.   
“Mary please baby, can you just stay with Daddy until i’m done?” I shot Harry a worried glance. Instantly he could tell that I was in a very uncomfortable position.   
“Alright Sam how are you today?” The same doctor i’ve seen quite a few times, smiled down at me. “The nurse said she was having some complications, but she’s fairly new so I figured i’d just take over for her.”  
“Well is there something I should be worried about?”   
“You know I think everything is probably fine.” He began the ultrasound again rubbing gently right under my rib cage. “So Mr. Styles I read someone that you guys are getting married?”  
“Oh, yeah. i’m really excited.”   
“Well you know what they say about doctors there are good news and bad news.” He spoke but stared intently at the screen.   
“Can we just get the bad news out of the way.” Harry scuffed shifted Mary again.  
“Bad news is you may want to postpone your wedding.” Although it was a very odd thing to say he smiled into his next response. “The good news is that” pausing again and letting us listen “that noise is a heartbeat.”   
“A HEARTBEAT?’ I was actually really scared that Harry was about to drop Mary right out of his lap.  
“Apparently you kids didn’t obey the no intercourse for six months rule.” It was frowned upon after the accident for us to have sex for six months, obviously neither of us could last. “It looks to be a really strong heartbeat actually. I’d say you’re about three almost four weeks, congratulations.”   
88  
“You okay?” My voice wavered as I quietly walked up behind Harry who was sitting on the edge of the couch, settling his legs slightly apart. Startled he turned his head, a faint smile on his lips.  
“Yeah,” he rasped, patting the spot next to him before turning his head back to face the televison that wasn’t even on, “are you?” I walked over moving behind his back straddling his hips, placing faint kisses on his shoulder blades.  
“I think I’ve got it all out of my system for now,” I sighed, slumping down next to him. “It’s just still a shock.” We both sat still, immersed in our thoughts. You could’ve heard a pin drop. The rest of the boys had already gone their consective ways back home, and Mary with my mom so the apartment was very empty.   
“I’m really happy, but i’m really scared.”  
“Why are you scared Haz, you’re perfect with Mary it will be all the same with just some extra tears and attention.”  
“No, i’m scared for you. Well I am scared for a baby, but I just feel like your body shouldn’t have to go through this again. I don’t want you to get hurt.” He whispered the last part, pausing. “I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you safe. I promise.”   
A small tear slipped from my eye, and although I knew he had felt it hit his back I attempted to change the mood. I nuzzled my head onto his shoulder kissing his cheek massaging up and down his biceps. “Thank you. I love you.”


	30. Chapter 30

“Max!”  
“John!”  
“Devynn!”  
“Alex!”  
“Katie!”  
“Cheerio!”  
“Cheerio, Niall thats a cereal. We can’t name the baby after a food.”  
“Sorry i’m just really hungry.” To say that the boys were going to be involved in the new babies life was an understatement. We’d been sitting in a circle in the living room trying to narrow down some names. We still didn’t know the gender of the baby.  
Mary was excited too, she was constantly rubbing my tummy trying to get the baby to move against her hands. Although she failed each time. It had only moved for me, even when Harry had tried to soothe the baby it had just stopped moving. Not once had it kicked against him. He was really upset about it but didn’t fail to try everyday.  
“How about you guys all go and get some food and then we can hit the names again?” Harry rubbed at my thighs trying to send encouragment my way.   
“Finally!” Niall and Louis yelped in unision. “We’ll take Mary and run down to the store.” Each boy getting up Louis grabbing Marys shoes, Liam grabbing her coat, and Niall and Zayn both already standing at the door.  
“You know I think I can feel myself getting fatter.”  
“Sam you’re not getting fat, you’re growing a baby.”  
“Haz were you trying to make me feel better cause now I just feel like there is a plant in my belly.”  
He laughed at me and pulled me in tight for a hug, laying his head on mine. I snuggled into his chest and listened to his heart beat. I kissed my hand and patted his chest where I felt his heart beating.  
He looked down at me and gave me a goofy smile. I leaned up and kissed his cheek, his eyes moved from my eyes to my lips. Before I knew it his lips were on mine, our lips moving in sync. He pulled me in closer to him and pressed his lips harder against mine, I ran my hands through his curls instinctvely.   
His hands quickly moved from my hips to my belly, gently rubbing. His lips spread and his tongue found its way to mine. I cupped his face and bit his bottom lip lightly, staring into his eyes trying to catch my breath.   
I let go, he chuckled and kissed my nose. It wasn’t that I didn’t like when he touched my bump but the constant reminder that I was carrying yet another child was slightly unbareable.  
“Do you think she’s going to move for me yet?”  
“I don’t know if he or she is going to move for you yet, it never stops moving for me.”  
“Well I think it’s a girl, something is really telling me it’s a girl.”  
“Well we’ll find out soon. Maybe that’s why its not kicking, because its a boy and you keep calling it a girl.”  
“Doubt it. I’m really sure it’s a girl.”  
“I think it’s a girl too!”   
“Me too!” The boys were back, and it looked like they bought out the whole convient store.  
“Well Sam thinks it’s a boy.”  
“I didn’t say I thought it was a boy, I just don’t 100% think it’s a girl, besides we already have a girl you don’t want the change?”  
“Lets just eat, Mary has to go down soon anyways.”  
I shuffled towards him more on the couch, knowing that I had somewhat upset him.   
“Babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”  
“I’m not upset.” He let out a fake smile and shifted off the couch meeting the boy in the kitchen examining the food.  
“Why is Daddy upset Momma?” There were faint tears in Marys eyes, I had never seen her pick up on someones mood before. Wiping her tears I told her something I hoped she would understand.  
“He’s just tired.”   
88  
Mary had her usual nightmare that night, not long after we had headed to bed. We both woke up at almost the same time to her knocking rapidly on our door.  
“Daddy..” She whined, banging harder,   
“Mommy, can I come cuddle..” She sniffled, wiping away at her tears. I always felt that she was starting to feel happy inbetween me and Harry at night and that was why she so frequently came to sleep with up. That she felt safe.  
I sighed, hearing her little hands bang down on the door.  
“C’mon in,” I called after Mary, scooting over to make room for the small girl to curl in. I felt myself leave Harrys arms and watched him furrow his eyebrows, waking up more and groaning.  
“Sam…” He complained, rubbing his eyes to wake himself up. He saw a little brown curly head of hair eagerly climb up into the bed and sighed lightly, reaching his arms out as Mary happily cuddled in between us.  
After a moment or so, I sighed, yet another night with Mary in bed with us.

“Mary… Are you okay?” I whispered softly, placing a kiss on her forehead.   
“Yeah Momma,” Mary half smiled , “i’m fine,” she whispered, playing with Harry’s curls in one hand, giggling. It was something she always did when she was in bed with us. Harry chuckled softly, turning to look at Mary,   
“You have to sleep soon, love.” He mumbled softly, placing a kiss on Mary’s nose.   
“Sing!” She choursed.  
I heard him laugh at Mary before propping himself up. I had closed my eyes again and to him it probably appeared I had fallen back asleep.   
“Shh, lets not wake Mommy.”  
“Sing Haz.” I whispered my eyes still closed. He began to sing Marys favorite lullaby humming softly between verses. And that is when I felt it, that similar rumble in my stomach. I leaned crossed Mary and grabbed Harrys wrist placing his hand on my stomach.   
Instantly his face lit up. Knowing the joy he was having from feeling the baby kick was phenonimal. Again, I drifed back to sleep Mary slightly snoring and Harry rubbing fimilar circles on my stomach.  
88  
The next morning I woke up and noticed Harry wasn’t in bed and neither was Mary. I looked around to see if he was in the bathroom, nothing, and then checked Marys room but she was sound asleep and he wasn’t there either. Guessing they had both woken up this morning and he had put her back to sleep in her own bed. I walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth and saw there was a note stuck on the mirror.  
Had a few interviews to do today, wish I could be with you, Mary and our little kicking baby now. I love you i’ll be back later. x- Harry


	31. Chapter 31

I looked out the window at the blurred city lights of downtown London. I loudly sniffed as I wiped my soggy face on the oversized sweater I was wearing. Harry had convinced me that coming back with him to London for a string of shows was a good idea.   
I was naseauted with the fact that I was out of my comfort zone, that or my morning sickness was kicking later than normal. Because the trip was only a few weeks my mother was more than willing to keep Mary with her, yet another unsettling feeling in my stomach.   
“Are we almost there?” I wasn’t trying to be nasty but I really just didn’t think I could take this car ride any longer.   
“About ten minutes from the flat, do you want to stop and grab food first?”  
“Whatever you want to do.” I mumbled pretty much to myself. I knew that Harry would only do what I said I wanted to, and he could probably tell that I was getting really restless.   
When we finally arrived at the complex I wasn’t suprised at all with the beauty that was in front of me. It was a three story brick complex with roses and an abundance of vines covering the front. Each car in the parking area alone probably cost more than my apartment all together.   
Harry parked and bustled out of the car heading to the trunk to start unpacking the suitcases. I had just got my door opened and had my feet dangling above the cool cement, when it hit me. I was about to be a mother again. I was having another child without being wed. I couldn’t tell if it was my pregnancy horomones or if I was genually upset with my life but I started to cry, burying my face in my hands.  
I thought back to the first time I had kissed Harry. It was at the prom, we both had different dates. I was with Ethan and he was with some upperclassman. I was only allowed to attend because I was dating Ethan and Harry wasn’t even allowed to be there but we had snuck him in last minute. He wanted the experience of going to an American dance opposed to the ones he went to back home.   
Ethan had left early to go get drunk with his friends, when I denied going with him he spat at me that ‘I was a selfish whore who only drank when I was upset.’ Maybe I did only drink when I was feeling a little emotionally unstable but what did it matter to him. I was propped against a cedar pillar while the room erupted in applause of the announcement of Prom king and queen.   
Harry had come over to me grabbed my hand and dragged me onto the dance floor just as a slow song had begun. Everyone knows that song, the one by Howie Day, Collide. A classic love song. I don’t think he had indented on dancing with me that night, but when he finally looked at me midsong surrounded by the bustling teenagers I knew how I felt. And I prayed for weeks after that night that he had realized it too.   
“Love?” Harrys voice broke me from my daydream, he was crotched in front of me hands on my knees. Almost immediatley I began to wipe my tears away crossing my arms over my chest.   
“I’m fine, lets just go inside.”   
“You’re not fine. Why were you crying?”   
“Harry I don’t want to talk about this, lets just go inside okay?” Placing my hands on my not very visable bump I walked behind Harry up to his flat.   
After we spent about an hour putting away clothes and our suitcases we cuddled up into Harry bed. Safely under the oversized comforter, his arms wrapped around me. His curls sitting on my forehead, but it was comfortable. It was where I knew I wanted to be tomorrow, in five years, or twenty years.   
“Sam?”  
“Hmm.”  
“If it’s a girl can we name it after my mom?”  
“You still think it’s a girl?”  
“Yeah, I do.”   
“Then of course.”   
“I love you Sam.”  
“I love you too Haz.”


	32. Epilogue

Ten years later and when Harry hangs out with the guys, I can still see his affection for their friendship. Ten years later and every concert I can still see the passion and love in his eyes from the first time he sang in front of an audience. Ten years later and he still has the same love and passion as the first time we made love. Ten years and four kids later, and i’m scared we’ve drifted apart. I don’t think that our love is in anyway short of what it used to be. But we fought like a bitter married couple, yes we were a married couple but we have never been bitter.   
He was here with meto raise Mary a child who wasn’t even his, and his love for her only grew with each day. He was there when I delivered a beautiful baby boy despite all his attempts that it was going to be a girl. He held my hand when the doctors informed us that my uterus was full of tumors, and I had the choice to remove them and have them potently return or take away my right to bare anymore children. Which for me was already very slim. I was there the night he walked out, only to return hours later gripping bags of toys for the kids and a single red rose. I was there when we attempted to try again for another baby, against all of the doctors odds. And he was there again when I delivered twins on Louis birthday. So to say that we were bitter was nothing compared to what our relationship had been through.   
It took Harry four years to finally take me to Paris. Accompanied by all four boys with their respective girlfriends. All four kids: Mary, Shawn, Emily and Elizabeth. Lou, Tom and Lux. So no it wasn’t the trip I thought it was going to be when he proposed that we go. We managed to get a lot of time to ourselves. Seven days in Paris may or may not change a person but I can’t say that my life changed at all. The city is said to be a place of love, but where do you go when you have a sense of love everyday?   
“Raise four kids and tell me that you don’t want to go to Paris?” Thats what Harry said to me the night of our anniversary. And then we proceeded to have to pack the kids up with us. So after dragging five kids and four other couples with you we were more than happy to be able to just lay down together. It didn’t matter that we were in most beautiful cities in the world. It didn’t matter that the Eiffel Tower was sparkling outside our window. All the mattered that out of everything Me and Harry had beat all odds, they were almost never in our favor yet we managed to keep everything together.


End file.
